I think you’ll find a good shit after you’ve been constipated to be superior to all three, something I assume TheRealBatman knows everything about.

The last one (about neighbors literally digging a tunnel into your apartment) is fucking me up good, especially as I’m about to move into my first rented accommodation in America (I’ve lived most of my adult life overseas and usually in apartments provided by my jobs). It’s gonna be real great trying to find an…

Non-documented persons on American soil have the same rights as American citizens, except those rights specifically delegated only to American citizens (like voting). This has been affirmed in courts of law time and time again, and at this point I’m wondering where the breakdown in communication is happening that so…

I love how 90% of the comments here are “Well, it’s not surprising,” as if your personal feeling of shock or lack thereof matters to anyone or has any bearing on the importance of this reporting.

If those five ratty-ass-t-shirt-wearing white boys aren’t the exact same morons who just got arrested and charged with murder for throwing a 20-pound rock off an overpass into traffic, they’re the spit of them. Or maybe teenage whiteboy thugs all look the same!

Right? One of the rocks they threw was TWENTY GODDAMN POUNDS. If they didn’t know you can kill someone doing this with some things you wouldn’t expect would be able to kill a person - didn’t someone die when an egg got tossed off an overpass? - they should, at the age when most of them can drive, understand that…

Sometimes I feel the lack of having no siblings (mostly because my parents are deeply weird, in not-a-fun-way, and I wish I had someone who understood what it was like growing up), but every day the universe finds some way to remind me how much I don’t actually want a sibling. Today, Ms. Markle Grant is the universe’s…

Not that you’d fuck him anyway, but imagine trying to have sex with someone while their mother’s eye stared at you out of their elbow pit. There’s not enough protection on earth to save you from the horror of that.

There’s also a lot of juices and snacks in that bathroom for me, a human being who prefers to do my shitting and my eating in distinct areas. And who stores their toothbrush IN the sink? Do you leave it there when you wash your hands, and let the soapy wastewater douse it?

He’d rather rage at a pregnant war widow than admit that he may have misspoken, the mushroom cloud will be rising over DC and he’ll still be shrieking that it’s everyone else’s fault.

Actually, news isn’t the toy surprise at the bottom of your cereal box. It doesn’t need to amuse you to be worth something.

Lol I’m in my early 30's, so this is a slightly worrying message to read.

I’m an itchy person, and I’ve always been prone to getting unexplained itchy bumps etc. A year and a half out from my bedbug experience, I’m still half-convinced every itch is a harbinger that they’re back and I have to go through that hell again. Even better, as I’ve gotten older I’ve gotten much-more-visible “eye…

Please, PLEASE hit me up if you wind up doing a stayover in Iceland. I had the time of my life there & can’t wait to go back, and also I have Opinions about a few things that should be done there.

Thank you! I wish the procedure for best ways to get rid of really awful stuff on here was better-known. I only settled on using the tip line when I saw how long it was taking for comments about problems to get responses, out of desperation. I wish more people knew about this option, as a way of getting problems dealt…

The best way to get things like this dealt with is to write to the tip line or the author of the post - they’ll need a link to the offensive post. I did this once when someone posted a long string of animal abuse photos that still haunt me, and while everyone flagging the images and whining about them in comments for…

It’s weird that she managed it all silently. I mean, every. single. day. I wind up thinking to myself “That’d better fucking be my cat and not a ghost” as a door swings open silently or I hear quiet footsteps on the stairs, but you expect it of cats. A spitz isn’t a small dog, and you don’t usually give dogs credit…

I mean, sounds weird to me to blame an airport because you can’t set up your credit card like an adult even though the repercussions have pretty seriously inconvenienced you and a loved one at least once, and to then get cute about “Bjork bucks” just because you need to swing your dick that little bit more, but you do…

Try the Magnus Archives, the only podcast to actually spook me without resorting to cheap tricks like random prolonged screaming in the middle of a sentence.

Then I guess they’ll figure it out at 50? What’s the point of sinking 25+ years into a relationship just because it might eventually work out? Get into the serious shit when you’re ready for the serious shit, even if that’s more than half your life away - don’t waste your youth getting into it because you “should.”