There isn’t enough whiskey in the whole of County Cork to make this feel better.

Right? Also, like, does that not seem like a situation where he might not want to give people enough time to reconsider, since they almost certainly would?

The fact that he wanted the case number engraved on the frame just adds that little soupcon of horror to the otherwise unmitigated disgust I feel.

It’s worse with cats. Dogs are omnivorous, and can survive pretty well if they eat what we eat, but cats are obligate carnivores and will become malnourished on a meatless diet.

I hear you. I have at least 3 bio-siblings out there somewhere. I have no desire to find my birth father, and frankly some trepidation about the siblings coming and finding me (I’ve been very lucky in life and am in better circumstances now than you’d ever have predicted based on my situation at birth, and to be frank…

I didn’t care about other people’s opinions or advice 6 months ago when I wrote my original post, and my interest has not increased in the meantime.

He looks so much like Will Forte that I’m not going to be surprised when Will Forte reveals that this long national nightmare was really just a bit for a web series that got out of hand.

Can you imagine doing the conspiracy cruise and then this within the same year? I’d implode.

Aww, thanks boo! You’re pretty great, too!

I am going to star every single version of this that I see. Every. Single. One. The last with as much glee as the first.

Many, many good suggestions in the comments here. I’m just going to say that whatever it is, you should keep it away from open flames. Shit’ll go up like kindling.

If it contains anything other than meth and no-brand $10-a-liter vodka, I will eat my hat.

I’d say the chance of having even a wanted pregnancy is a lot more likely to evoke at least some feelings of regret, at least some of the time, than is a safe and easily-accessed abortion.

Exactly. I’ve been lucky (not good, just lucky) and I’ve never gotten pregnant. If it’s between pregnancy and the back alley, I’d be there behind the dumpster waiting for the coat hanger before you could say “insufficient hygiene standards.” I am not having a baby. You can make it easy, you can make it inaccessible,…

There’s a whole lot of stuff I can do that I will have a high probability of regretting, and no one tries to stop me. I could go buy all the gin in the liquor store and drink it all tonight - there’s no law saying I can’t. I could go out after work and get a tattoo that covers my whole face - the tattoo artist can…

I bet you somehow managed not to send the inappropriate texts to people other than your girlfriends, too.

I’ve been an au pair, and the parents’ bedroom was not only off-limits, it’s so obviously off-limits that in one of the two places I worked, it wasn’t even discussed. A child care provider has absolutely zero business being in there unless maybe the kid gets in and you have to go after them, and then it’s in-out.

Remember in early 2001 when the liberals were all depressed because our lack of ability to put up a rousing candidate/rally around the candidate we were stuck with wound up giving the Executive to a Republican with name recognition and little else? Remember all the think pieces about how the Dems were probably on…

That’s the problem with the “if I could kill anyone instantly from a distance, and nobody will ever know it was me” thought experiment. Do you go for the person whose death will objectively make the world better by the biggest margin? (Assad or Kim Jong). Or do you go for the person where it would be the most…

Anne with an e is the French way. She’d probably be even worse to make up for the (little-known) association.