Just like every mediocre ex-feat brother with a trust fund: willing to swear day and night that he bootstrapped his way uphill both ways straight into the same job his daddy had.

Yes, you being older than me definitely means your youth was interesting. That’s pretty much the way senile people seem to think, along with, apparently, having no understanding of the concept of sex clubs and thinking that all sexual activities are confined to hotel rooms (lights off, under the sheets, right dear?)

Yeah, when I actually read God Save the Queen (I only knew the first verse) I was like, c’mon, one mention of bombs bursting in air can’t hold a candle to this. If you didn’t already know that the Star-Spangled Banner was written during a battle, you wouldn’t think it was a violent song at all.

You’re so cute, with your superiority and your boring youth.

I dunno. I've had sex in the same room as friends and I had a good time, so I guess the only remaining question is whether Harry and Zayn are friends or just co-workers, which neither of us can possibly know, although I'd suggest that a mutual willingness to have sex in the same room is a solid point on the side of…

Ah. I thought the revolution in this case was metaphorical, not literal. And I guess “left” in this case was at least a few steps left of where I thought it was.

Actually, I just read the UK anthem’s for-real lyrics for probably the first time ever (previously I only knew the first verse), and I would say that in truth, the US is by far the LEAST violent of all the national anthems I know.

Right. I, too, would support the hypothetical, but only in that way where the way things already are isn’t nearly bad enough for me to actually give a shit about changing it.

A few years ago, one of my friends was on a kick where he’d talk about changing the American national anthem with “America the Beautiful,” because he didn’t think it was good to represent our country with a violent, battle-connected song.

I’m 5’10.5 (the height at which men who are lying/have been lied to will shout “You can’t be 5’10, I’M 5’10, you must be six feet!”), which I think is approximately how tall Harry is, with the others being pretty substantially shorter.

Not to mention that Jesus was literally killed because he, a refugee, was considered dangerous to the status quo present in the place where he was teaching (he wasn’t teaching in his hometown because they rejected him). Whether you consider the execution of Jesus to be a necessary part of God’s plan or not, I would…

I think she and I would be friends, but I would absolutely correct her spelling over SMS.

Literally any of them, although Harry and perhaps Liam are the only ones I think who aren’t tiny enough that I’d crush them with my tall self.

It’s a well-attested rumor that he and Zayn once hooked up with a groupie each in the same hotel room. I like to believe that’s the specific time he’s remembering (although there’s a small handful of stories of him either hooking up with fans or attractive girls he met on the streets/in shops who were, if not fans, at…

Come on now, surely when someone who would struggle to find their own ass with both hands manages to discover the point of a multi-paragraph text, we should be supportive of their efforts, however ineptly they communicate their epiphanies to us, the non-mouth-breathing public.

Binge-watching Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries on Netflix has me longing for a cloche, but some of these would do in a pinch.

I’d add in SAS and Virgin Atlantic as well - I had the best in-flight meal of my life on VA 8 years ago, even better than the ones I’ve had on Emirates, which is more known for its luxury.

Tell me about it. I got a humanities BA and a social science MA, and I enjoyed getting both of them. I usually think of myself as at least marginally interested in anything.

Basically, that fucking fox created entire generations of furries single-handedly. As who among us would not, given the power?

The only person I can think of besides Teddy Roosevelt who actually seemed to enjoy being President is GW, which certainly proves your point.