Meanwhile, I’m going to laugh at the surprise and disappointment of all the morons who thought all the world’s major problems were going to be solved because they filled a single ballot in a single election, and instead find, surprise! There’s no Gandalf-like figure that’s going to ride up on a white horse and save us…

Smelling salts wake you up - when, for example, you go into a dramatic fainting fit over your favorite political candidate being a relative non-starter. So you know, cute again, but you can’t ask me to correct a metaphor just because you didn’t understand it.

I am about 80% unworried about the general election - I think the GOP might actually wind up having the turnout problem that usually plagues the Democrats if they can’t rally around someone soon (I mean someone the FBI wouldn’t literally assassinate before they allowed his name on the ballot). I think if Clinton is…

Cute, but 5 months isn’t really that far away, so you know. Brace yourself? And maybe put down the smelling salts and take a look at Sanders and Clinton’s voting records - they are 95% the same. The narrative that they’re crazy-different good vs. evil is absurd on the face of it.

Obama v. Hillary was a) 8 years ago, and b) an actual tight race. So sure, Sanders is doing better than Obama almost a decade ago - when there’s an actual competition, it’s understood that even the strongest competitors will have a correspondingly smaller piece of the pie. Hillary right this minute is doing better…

.... Right? But we’re talking about the primaries, which comes before Sanders has a chance of beating Trump. So I may be underestimating something, but you are just downright confused.

And his lack of fundraising, endorsement, name recognition and polling data. But sure, blame it on pessimism because nobody else is feeling the Bern as hard as you are.

The degree of damning they’d have to be would be like, the commission would have to reveal that she’d flown to Libya on Air Force One and put a bullet in the ambassador herself. Remember, there’s only 5.5 months before the primaries are over, which isn’t a hell of a lot of time for any challengers to overcome her…

I actually think Sanders would be a damn fine choice as Clinton’s VP, since it blows away the biggest possible threat to her Presidency - disaffected Sanders supporters choosing not to vote if they can’t vote for their guy. I think in reality we’re going to get bullshit Martin O’Malley instead, though.

Well, she’s got nearly double the percentages in the polls than Bernie does in the national aggregates, so unless she loses literally half of her support, that’s not going to matter a whole hell of a lot.

This supports my suspicion that Bernie doesn’t want to be president, he wants to bring important issues onto the stage and make sure they’re addressed by whoever IS president. Which is, I think, a perfectly legitimate reason to run a presidential primary campaign - otherwise you just get an echo chamber of people…

I think it’s a big deal that this practice is so widespread (not only Hillary was dong this) because it shows how bad technological literacy is among our politicians. I think it’s a transparent ploy to keep her out of office that it’s become a big deal NOW, and only for her - again, she wasn’t the only leader in the…

What’s really gonna suck is when I have to scroll through my Facebook feed after Clinton gets the nomination, reading all the wailing and gnashing of teeth from the Bern Squad who were convinced by the media that this was actually a winnable race for him, despite all the evidence to the contrary.

I have a lot of people in my life who frustrate me but I can’t yell at, so I save it all up for the people on the internet who frustrate me and I CAN yell at.

You’re whining about a person on a TV show you don’t like. They’re not “everything that’s wrong with America” unless they’re somehow also responsible for voter fraud and banks that are too big to fail. It’s not that important. Grow up.

If that’s how you’re fighting the Nazis, you’re doing it wrong.

Nope!

That’s right! It’s what we adults call “mimicking,” which means to imitate someone, usually for purposes of ridicule. It is a common and popular form of comedy, particularly effective against people who aren’t very bright!

*actually knows how to insert a GIF, doesn’t have to use emotitext like it’s 1996*

Man, that stab in the dark sure was lucky! Bullseye!