If I didn’t have a full-time job, I would volunteer to be that hero.

While the rest of us are all distracted by deciding who’s in the running to be President, these lackluster morons are still well-aware that they’re going to have to defend their seats in 2016, and it’ll be good to have a story to tell the folks back home about how they really, really tried to get rid of those…

It’s gonna be the Oddly-rust-colored, nothing-gets-the-stains-out, can’t-wear-this-on-dates-anymore House after you’re through.

If you were a space alien brought to earth with no prior knowledge and introduced to the internet, you would I swear to god believe that many people were employed to be cunts at $150K per year with full medical and dental. There would be no other obvious answer to why people go at being just fucking insufferable all…

Has anyone here bought J.Crew flats before? Are they comfy or will they tear up my heels? I need a pair of walking flats to take on vacation in a few weeks to give my feet a rest from my boots, but they need to be pretty much entirely perfect shoes or else I’d rather save the money for alcohol on the plane.

Actually, it is so much more complicated than that that it’s almost impossible for a regular individual to know which is objectively the “best” way.

Does, however, get to the heart of where the cracks are in the DIY/Homegrown/anti-Agribusiness/“Natural” movements, which is a bit more important than “the point of sandwiches” IMO.

Now if only we could return to the time when popular rock bands did the soundtracks for children’s cartoons (The Last Unicorn, the Hobbit animated movie, etc.)

One of the pillars of my party position of Why You Shouldn’t Listen to Men’s Opinions on Anything is that Meghan Fox is someone I KNOW the vast majority of men find just impossibly attractive, and yet they are so wrong in this very widespread belief that it justifies assuming they’re wrong about everything.

Financial security is not some stolid, boring state reserved for middle-aged white women .... It is freedom.

Dear fucking lord. I’m 30, and I’m not making 60K NOW. If I’d been making 60K from 23, and stuck to just my current saving percentage from my actual salary, I would have close to $100K in savings even if I just put the money away in my sock drawer. The idea of having so much wealth and no idea how to manage it for the…

In that case you’re exactly where I was at 26. It’s still fine - keep doing exactly what you’re doing, and whatever’s left over at the end of the month, even if it’s less than $2, transfer it back into your savings. That way, even if you have to reach into your initial $200 cushion, you can still feel good about…

I save about 20% of my income every paycheck, but I am in very, very specific and lucky circumstances (right now my rent is next to nothing because I’m living in a house my dad owns and plans to retire into, I have no debt on my M.A., etc). I sincerely wish everyone could manage to save like I do for their own safety…

This actually sounds pretty great, and better than where I was at 26 (I’m nearly 30 now, so it’s not like I’ve got a great wealth of experience on you). Whatever little bit you’re putting aside now is definitely going to make a difference in the future compared to those who can’t or don’t save anything during these…

Have you ever met an older person who had actually lived by this kind of thinking when they were younger? Because they are full of regrets.

This was my parents’ approach, and between that and their very overbearing approach everywhere else, I have grown up to be hyper-vigilant, prone to being sneaky, and really quite good at lying just enough to get out of trouble. Which, it turns out, are actually pretty useful in navigating the working world, and really…

Luckily, my mother was savings-obsessed. I wasn’t allowed to keep the money that came for me in Christmas and birthday cards, even. It went straight to the bank (after I’d written a thank-you note). When I started working small jobs at 14, 25% of my earned income was saved. These sums went straight into the bank, and…

Me, too. I’ve literally never been so insulted on Gawker, and boy do I have a lot of experience being insulted on Gawker.

My single cat manages somehow to take up 95% of my full-sized bed. If I got another cat I’d need to sleep in a whole different room.

Always remember that you only get in trouble for killing people if they can find a jury to convict you.