“Diogenes Vasquez” sounds like a character from a lost Ayn Rand novel.

Dammit, I came here hoping for a Mariah Carey-esque tour rider. Bernie doesn’t like busy patterns. He also wants 20 white kittens and 100 white doves to be released when he goes on stage for the debate.

THIS. The whole article is a veiled tantrum about 25 year old women not being interested in them anymore. If they cared so much about having a family they could marry a woman their age, take all the money they earned focusing on career, and use alternative avenues for creating a family

Looks sorta like what Kim Davis wore to the SOTU last night

Am I the only one feeling like #3’s marriage is doomed? Not because of the crush, that’s just a McGuffin. The problem is it seems that in his mind he didn’t get married because he wanted to spend his life with this woman, he got married because he was tired of being alone. it sounds like it’s a good relationship but…

I don’t know why all these health nuts seem so entirely clueless about the fact that one diet does not fit all people. Honestly, if you know so goddamn much, why don’t you know *that*?

your parents were born like a year before my oldest brother was born...

It’s almost like a violent male-centric wish-fulfilment industry that is designed for jerking off to is inherently expolitative, despite people’s best intentions and tumblr blogs!

“We women go through an entire pregnancy carrying a baby...of course it only makes sense that we get something amazing to show how amazing we are!”UMMMMM... Yeah - that’s what pregnancy is - the whole carrying a baby. And the amazing thing you get after you deliver? YOU GET A BABY!!! Jeez Louise.

The Humorous Classic:

I never see it anymore. I don’t like it anyway, give me Fage or give me death, but it’s interesting that my grocery doesn’t seem to carry Oikos.

Slade Smiley...lesser brother of Guy Smiley.

Oh god that last moment... EEK

Kate Winslet is insufferable and Titanic was a shitty movie and so was Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind.

I just reaaaaally dislike Kim Gordon. I tried reading her book but she seemed like a TERRRRRIBLE person so half way through (seriously, I never stop reading a book, I follow the sinking ship) and I had to stop because I disliked her so goddamn much.

Have a chat with him about how porn is not reality, and that those actresses are faking it, and the ex girlfriends who came when he ordered them too were probably faking it too. You can also tell him how much you enjoy sex and that the pressure to cum makes it tough for you to do it. You’d think men would get the…

If I’m EVER in the tabloids I want the caption of my photo to be “does drugs for breakfast”

Right?! Scott very much looks like a man who does drugs for breakfast in that photo.

In the meantime, [Mila]’s hiring a “granny nanny” to watch Wyatt

same, scott.