the latest scandal in which he is accused of improperly extorting Ukrainian officials

Mike Pence sucks.

You should probably cc: your attorney if you do. 

As a sidenote, that gratitude over the 11 days worth of hard work is so passive-aggressive that it is awesome.

I think “pulling off the ol’ double moochy” is what got him into trouble in the first place.

🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀
🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀
🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀

I can’t believe the Patriots went to all this trouble to beat the Dolphins.

I reached out to Antonio Brown for comment, but succeeded only in getting my arm wet in the toilet.

A) Good

NFL: here is a bajillion dollars. All you have to do is not be a despicable moron for few years, we good?

Roethlisberger will be fine. He’s used to dealing with gray areas.

Cousins is a mirage. He’s Steve DeBerg; he’s just good enough to get you beat. Every once in a while (usually around mid-October to mid-November) he’ll play completely fucking bonkers ass football that will have you believing he’s a franchise savior, and then right in the thick of the playoff hunt in December he’ll…

Intercept10n

Med10crity

You’re close, but I think id10t is a better fit here.

— only you never wanted any Farewell Tour.

Not to nitpick Archer here, but there was a quote about people needing to talk about this through the lens of “I have a sister etc.” because it’s much less manly to be a feminist than it is to be an aggrieved property owner.

This is just a minor technicality.

Vázquez then told police that he and the victim had “sex but not really.”

Vázquez then told police that he and the victim had “sex but not really,” per the court record.