The screen he took is literally a cognitive impairment/dementia screen. My staff administer it every day, so I know it well. The fact that he scored 30/30 points is 1) marginally surprising to me because frankly I did think he was showing signs of dementia and 2) NOT at all indicative of the fact that he is an…

Saw on twitter that his driver’s license has him at 6'2" and he has to have lost some as he has gotten older.

I won’t believe Trump is 239 lbs, unless I see an official weight certificate.

His ‘hair’ that needs a can of super strength hairspray a day probably adds an inch or two.

“mr president, here is your test. i will place the answers in this folder and set it inside the top drawer of my desk. i have to use the restroom and will be back in 22 minutes. now, don’t look at the answers that i have placed in THIS folder and inside the TOP drawer of my desk and i will score your results when i…

He is precisely 239 lbs...on the Moon.

It would be a mixed bag. The next Democrat President will be spending the first two years of their presidency trying to put out the garbage fire Trump has lit. Somewhere in there, the next recession will hit (if it hasn’t already by then) and the new president and their Democratic party will be positioned perfectly to…

Hey, if Lindsey Lohan is trying to overcome drugs and abuse and the shitty parenting job her parents did, I’m all for giving her a chance. Way to go, Lindsey, I’m rooting for you.

I’m feeling the Chris Martin/Dakota Johnson thing, they both seem chill. She doesn’t appear to be the kind of gal to demand a mandatory weekly couples’ colon cleanse or crystal insertions in various unwilling body orifices.

We have actually reached a point where people are playing Devil’s advocate for the Church of Scientology.

Fight the ignorance.

I hate owning 3 sizes of jeans, pants and shirts and but I gain and lose weight so easily. I look ridiculous in baggy and super-fitted clothes so sadly I can’t take Rihanna’s advice.

Correction *your brain is too big* for Zara clothes.

In Guiliana’s defense, I do believe her when she says her post-cancer medication causes it. My mother was a super athletic hottie before cancer; for the last 35 years of her life, she looked like an anorexic nearing death. And she ate a TON. Life-saving medication can be a bitch.

If you haven’t seen it, “Chewing Gum” on Netflix is great. I know it’s been out for a while. I watched it all and wished there were one thousand more episodes.

Hi everyone;
With this administration on the economy, I wouldn’t trust any information from them, this president lies as most of us breathe air & care less for any consequences, I wouldn’t even believe any of his administration if they told me water was wet.

People are kind of shitting on Hawaii residents for doing that, but honestly if I got that alert I’d instantly go to Twitter to see what the fuck is going on. And if I didn’t find anything, I’d probably post “UM HEY DID ANYONE ELSE GET THIS APOCALYPSE WARNING?”

Old Soviet joke; What do you do in case of nuclear attack? Wrap yourself in a sheet and walk slowly to the cemetary. Why slowly? So as not to cause a panic.

My dad walked in on me masturbating. I’m a girl.

I find rubbing a little bit of tuna fish on my balls attracts them. What did you use?