Unfortunately, all too familiar.

A discussion of violence against women isn't the place to talk about ways we can minimize our participation in a culture of normalization of violence against women. Got it.

Even if our justice system made rape the top priority, I still don't see that yielding huge results as long as an accused rapist still has the right to a trial by jury. It's just very tough to definitively prove that a woman did not consent, and it only takes one of the jurors to believe the man over the woman in the…

I think you're missing my point. Speaking ill of men isn't something that strikes me as smart to do, but it doesn't really matter all that much to me. I honestly thought that would be clear by now. The importance doesn't lie in the harm you're doing to the self-esteem of men. If that's what I was correcting,…

Sorry for the delay.

I completely agree; it's just tough to get them in jail given the nature of the crimes and the way the justice system works. It only takes one juror to derail it, and that's assuming that there's enough evidence to even get to a trial. I've always been intrigued by the way the Swedish legal system handles these…

First off, thank you for the excellent reply. Far more than I ever expected from an online comment section.

That's not at all what I'm trying to push, but I can see why I sounded that way.

I mean, this whole study/conversation ignores the reality of the situation. Or, rather only zeroes in on one of the ways it happens and doesn't really speak all that much to the huge number of rapes and assaults that are committed by people that already know their victim.

Gluttonous was clearly used to describe our cultural attitudes towards drinking, not women who are victimized. If that counts as victim blaming, then so does mentioning our cultural constructions of masculinity as being a part of the problem as well.

These guys probably don't tend to have a whole lot of friends, you know, with all the sex predator business. Also, if they do, judging by the company they've chosen to keep, I wouldn't hold my breath on them being the kind of people with the gumption to stop something like this.

You are at the top of my internet high five list today.

Can you help me out with why? Hand on my heart, that was not my intention in the slightest.

Don't forget personal history. Victims of abuse at a young age often times end up developing some nasty traits later in life.

But men, even sexually aggressive ones, still have freewill, the ability to understand the word 'no' and a legal obligation not to commit acts of violence. Sharks and lightning get held to a much lower standard. If I woman puts herself in a dangerous situation, a lack of prudence is the only thing she's culpable for.

The only suggestion I'd make is changing 'men' to 'rapists' or 'predators.' There are plenty of men whose masculine identity has more to do with stopping those around them from being victimized than with being aggressive.

I'm not sure how you go about targeting potential perps, though. If they're not going to abide by the law or the objections of the victim, I don't know how much success you could have with them. These guys seem like rotten apples. It doesn't strike me as an issue of education or outreach. You need a cure for their…

Putting the onus on the bars makes little to no sense to me. But what about the people that you go to the bar with? It seems much more reasonable to me to encourage people to look out for one another when they go out drinking. When you go out drinking with a friend or friends, we already have something of a…

Or get as drunk as you please, but plan it. Have a friend that can watch your back and intervene/get help when needed. Like having a DD. It's something that I've done many times over the years, and it's always yielded pretty immediate results.

I'm really not sure where a study like this fits into the larger discussion of rape/assault/etc given the prevalence of the attacker being someone already known by the victim. This seems to mostly be strangers in a bar setting, which has more to do with our cultural perceptions of rape and how rapes happen than with…