Damn! That is some crazy driving skills. Adrenaline is truly the best motivator.

I'm just gonna paste what I wrote elsewhere:

Poots!

but since driving will be something of a necessity when you do finally spawn

Okay, apparently behaving like an adult isn't working for one of us here (two with your fake-girlfriend sockpuppet "poguemahoney"), so I'm going to give back to you what you're shoveling at me.

Please don't go to that tired old tripe. YOU can do better than your last comment, as well as most of the reactionary "how dare you say something that I don't like, even if it's not totally incorrect!" comments you've been tossing out here. Do all us in the Native family proud, because I know you've got it in you.

As a counterpoint to Danielle's complaint whining below, I am also Native. But I have to admit I had a good laugh of agreement at your comment. Pretty sure that clay turtle I made for fun when I was 8 years old is not a sacred relic. Also pretty sure that the old arrowheads we keep finding in my family's backyard or…

half the women I worked with were getting laid thanks to AOL

I hadn't even thought about that for old disc uses. That's a good idea!

Hmm…I know we have places that sell booze from all over, but I don't know if they also do sodas (don't care for most booze, so I don't go to those stores)…might be worth looking into!

You are brave. As much as I loved dipping into the limited Jones flavors, I don't think I'd ever try the Thanksgiving ones.

JEALOUSY RAGE.

You just described my bout with an agonizing bleeding ulcer last year. Piece of shit doctor insisted it was "just acid reflux"—even though I know damn well what reflux acts and feels like, and this was NOT it—and he did nothing to treat it. Though he sure seemed to have a lot of time to flirt with me while I writhed…

I would forgive all the evils in the world to see that last sentence actually happen. Though preferably not happening accidentally.

I just browsed the main page of your Tumblr, and spent five minutes laughing at the "chipmunk + kiwi" gryphon description. You are posting the reblogs of the gods.

Eat one of those black burgers and wash it down with a black licorice Jones Soda (a Halloween flavor—perfect!) You'll never look at your toilet—or your anus—the same way again.

I would totally read your memoirs.

Haha! If I want all the A.V. Club commenters to hate me, I'll just start hanging out on Breitbart and voting for Trump.

Man, I used to grab stacks of those CD's at the post office and then break them into pieces to make art sculptures for friends. The sculptures started as joke gifts, but people loved them so much that they began asking for them specifically. Some are still being displayed in friends' homes. That's the most use I ever…

You're welcome! I enjoy any chance to put into words just how awful Meyer's "writing method" is for that story. And if I can do so in a manner that points out that 50 Shades is just shitty Twilight fanfic that never should have been professionally published, that's a bonus.