+1

Awesome.

Screencap: Bobby Bowden, watching God masturbate.

Boom! +1

+1

In related news, 99.7% of Caltech's male students were found to have a "lack of intestinal control" when talking to girls.

Umm...I'm just here to make the poop jokes.

[Reads headline]

millions!

I agree with the Paterno family. When my dog poops on the hardwood floor, everyone excuses it. When I poop on the hardwood floor, everyone is shocked and says that I should know better. That's bullshit.

Wait. Nike is building houses on children?!

I'm really getting tired of reading all this Penn State stuff today. It's summer! We're supposed to be chillaxin' on the porch with a glass of sweet tea mixed with vodka. This sort of stuff is just way too heavy for the season. You know, I think we should all sit back, close our eyes and think about unicorns. …

That's great.

Now that's what Doris Kearns Goodwin calls good writing.

+1, yo. u Strayt up told him bro. luv it. tell that Poser to step off and set down! yer balls hert, Ray? Lolz!

Goddamnit. You guys don't even realize the horrible implications of this event yet. Every time the Lake Superior Rage is responsible for violence, Gordon Lightfoot composes a shitty song.

Hey, I need to get that jersey for my lonely Aunt Glenda! Do they make one with numbers in the fifties?

Oops, sorry. I saw something floundering and about to be yanked, so I figured it was Mark Sanchez.

This made me laugh more than it should have. +1

The Reagan administration had a policy titled "steal their lunch and eat it in front of them, then poop in the bag and give it back." It was probably a good public relations decision to retitle it "trickle down economics."