McMillan and Smack Your Wife

The Brady Bunch

All In The Broken Family

I've gotten pretty good at painting on an emotional canvass too. But that's because I work at a spray-tanning salon that specializes in clients who are menopausal women.

I love it when my comments are feta'd with praise.

please share your favorite pirate sites in the comments section

I used to get cockblocked by waits all the time when I dated a girl who worked at Splash Mountain.

Before I bury Caesar, I will embasalm him. Seriously, it's like they're heading into an iceberg. The Cardinals are about to falter endive into the junk heap of history. We're going to beat them silly, almost to the point that it's radicchiolous. All that romaines for their players is defeat, and then they can leaf…

When I heard someone say that Cashman got screwed by a woman who isn't his wife, I just figured they were trying to tell me that Jason Giambi had a sex change operation.

I had a Model Wife once upon a time too! She was great! We would go to the park together, eat ice cream, and gossip about our neighbors. She wasn't fussy or demanding like most women. Sometimes we would just sit around and watch sports for days! And you wouldn't believe how good the sex was. It was out of this…

Four minutes? Jeez, that's kinda long fellas. It's going to be hard for most Tampa Bay fans to get through this whole video without taking a pee break.

You know what they say about golf always spoiling a good wok.

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I HAVE A HARD TIME DISPLAYING ANY EMOTION OTHER THAN ANGER BECAUSE MY FATHER NEVER TOLD ME THAT HE LOVES ME!

Braves fans would love an announcer who sugarcoats everything, but they can't have that because most of their fans have diabetes.

The bus was originally named The Booby Lounge, but they changed it after receiving complaints from a few disappointed members of the Audubon Society.

Huh. That's the picture that pops up on my phone's caller ID whenever I get a call from Manhattan.

Human Existence Is Tragic & Futile

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