Seriously guys, WVU is an institute of higher learning. Class it up a little. Your hot cousin is never going to marry you if you keep pulling this sophomoric crap.

That's odd. Usually things sail right over Curt's head.

The eternal beanpole should not be confused with the indomitable beanerpole, which is the nickname Joe Arpaio has given to the trusty stick he uses to poke at random Mexicans.

This reminds me of the time my high school baseball team hazed me! They got me real good, boy oh boy! They did this thing where they cut me from the team.

"Hey, did you hear Samuel Eto'o is playing in Dagestan?"

It looks like you took a ride on the Highway To The Danger Zone!

He was rooting for the jets on September 11th? What kind of anti-American shit is that?!

The Red Sox, on the other hand, are busy replicating the myth of Icarus by coming into close contact with the deadly Rays.

A Night of Crappy Americana is what the residents of Pigeon Forge, Tennessee refer to as a "sustainable local economic plan".

"It's pretty obvious, but I don't really like to talk about it."

+1

+1

+1

This made me laugh.

This look is called the "How A Mortician Saves Money".

"Not enough facial hair."

While you folks were reading these emails, that t-shirt became the frontrunner to secure the republican presidential nomination.

That's just lazy journalism. He kept interviewing the same guy over and over again. Changing his shirt isn't going to fool me, Bob!

All jokes aside

I was afraid of thunder when I was little. It all happened one day when I overheard daddy telling mommy that he was going to "bring the thunder in the bedroom a little bit later". Anyway, about thirty minutes later I heard mommy screaming through the walls. It must have been the thunder that was scaring her! I hid…