This car did not slap. My girlfriend at the time had one and it had a weak engine, a terrible shifter, poor handling and poor build quality. Let’s clear up the sporty 4-bangers of the era here:

NO DAMNIT! We mean all the GOOD stories about how serving for low pay in an organization that sends you off on long deployments away from your spouse and children, with no regard for the toll it takes on them, to situations where you might experience the horrors of combat that, even if you aren’t killed, can have…

Boomers: “You kids don’t work these days!”

Like Bezos you have no idea what you’re talking about. Unlike Bezos you are not funding a billion-dollar vanity project in space, so that’s good.

An apartment dweller is not cut off from nature. I realize one of the conceits of farmers is that “city folk” are “cut off from nature,” but rural idioms are not informed by…

Well all those other countries do their tests using the metric system, so you have to take any of their results with a gram of salt.

Yeah, it definitely makes it confusing to try and sift through it all.

The reality of overlanding is whatever you make of it. It’s just a catch-all term that caught on because of social media and instagram marketing. It’s just going on trips and bringing some car/truck camping gear with you. That’s it. The idea is to find new places to explore for a while, using your vehicle as a sort of…

BAM! mobile sheep dip.

Man, really sorry that you had to part ways with it. Who commits such a cowardly act as shooting at other peoples defenseless cars?! Such assholery.

So, summer before my college sophomore year, I bought myself an $800 Mark I Rabbit diesel. The image below is not my car, but it is highly representative of what I purchased. The interior door panels came off constantly, the hand crank windows came off the track constantly (easier fix since the door panels had…

David, how can you warm your cars up if they won’t start ?

Whether it’s combat-ready or not, it’s definitely air-show ready, which is what really matters when you need to quickly sell a lot of these to our “allies”.

One of these things saves lives. The other is about how loud exhaust is. Don’t be stupid.

I make it a point to look for motorcycle stories, and have been putting up at least a couple per week. Glad you enjoyed it.

I’m glad to see a motorcycle-related article on Jalopnik. It would be nice to read more of them. 

Read the paperwork bro, you gave Mark Zuckerberg the right of prima nocta to all your children.

It’s on a piece of paper that means its the right thing.

Yep, nailed it. Plus, I think cars like the Camry and Corolla actually develop character as they get older precisely because of their purpose to just be there when you need them which is pretty rare. To me, there’s something hugely appealing and fascinating about a high mileage Camry or Corolla that’s still working…

Speaking from experience, everyone Jalop wants a car with “character” until they need to go to regular cancer treatments, make it to work every day in order to keep their insurance and the hundred other little things we need to do to survive in a apathetic world.

More than a few kernels of truth there, though.

Honestly a-maized it made it through editing.