“But of course, for that ending to work, you would have to ignore all the Simpson DNA evidence. And that would be downright nutty."

Years ago I had a family member spend a very long time in an ICU, and my experience was that most doctors are better than this, but some are so busy or in their own heads they don’t even realize how they sound.

I pre-ordered the Voltron set. It turned into my “I got better” reward during recovery from a badly broken ankle ;p

The Model Y goes off road the same way a Porsche Macan goes off road. When the local mall runs out of parking spaces, you can drive them over the curb onto the grass to make your own parking spot #richPeopleSolutions

Hah, shows what you know. I didn’t even have the price of a new car in my 401(k) to begin with!

because walking down a dark hallway is risky and uncertain. The number one thing financial markets hate is uncertainty.

The answer to that one is #2, answer #1 is a cheap jab at unions and protected workplaces of the sort that lazy hack comedians have repeated since Reagan went all out anti union in the eighties deregulation frenzy. Please do not repeat those anti employee jabs, they do immense long term economic and societal damage.

I’m sorry, do you think authors actually pick the advertisements that play on a web page? Are you from the past?

Nanjiani also explained that Eternals’ version of the character will be spotlighted in a massive Bollywood-inspired dance sequence (presumably as part of one of Kingo’s in-universe movies) featuring 52 dancers including himself, which, on paper, sounds utterly divine.

Any cook worth their salt can make great food on an electric range just fine.  Sure, they might have to work a tad harder at it, but moving to renewable energy is going to take some adjustments.  If it’s just a few home cooks have to learn some different techniques, then looks like they’ll have to just suck it up.

I’ve long held that the best exercise is the full-body pump one gets from crushing your enemies, seeing them driven before you, and hearing the lamentations of the women.

Not even that. If I know my fellow browns, they don’t give two shits.

It’s a fuck you to liberals, democrats, leftists, et al, nothing more.

The most fucked up thing is how ineffective the wall is. People have climbed it. Cut through it. Literally gone around it. The only thing the wall is good for, really, is saying “fuck you” to the brown people south of the US.

the AC is out in the kitchen,

you are a hopeless Poindexter and literally nobody is happy when you show up anywhere.  You are the person everyone makes fun of when you walk away.  You are the person everyone hopes isn’t coming to the party.  

ha ha ha ha tough shit good luck with that, professor

Winter tires on any of these would work just fine. I grew up on a farm 6 miles from the nearest paved road. You’ll be fine, Francis. 

I don’t like that you made me do this, to be clear.

Who would have thought the same ideology of people co-opting the Punisher logo for law enforcement would create a meme framing the president as a mass murderer?

Trump’s campaign misusing a meme doesn’t so much concern me as Trumpo trying to pull literal Nazi shit with an executive order declaring Judaism to be a nationality. Not only is this continuing Trump’s anti-semitic “Jews = Israel” stance, but it’s also another step in justifying deporting Jews. Because if Jews are a…