If my name was Lawrence and I was a dumpy white guy, I wouldn’t call anyone a bitch.

Whiter than bragging about the German sports cars you’ve owned?

Was Crawford’s dick in your mouth while you were writing this?

If you speak for Heat fans, this is why everyone hates Heat fans.

It’s nice to see A.J earning his $140.1 million.

I think the fact that this argument exists and you can make a reasonable argument for Lebron speaks extremely well for him. It wasn’t that long ago that people were saying Kobe (KOBE!!!!!!!!!!!!) was better.

I would want a guy worth $7.7 billion to pay over the cap when the best player of this generation wasn’t the highest paid player on the team.

As a Saints fan, you being butthurt is more enjoyable than seeing Brett Favre throw an across his body interception, an onside kick after halftime, and Tracy Porter’s pick six combined. And you know what, the Saints did cheat to win the title and got away with it too. They late hit Favre more in one game than he took…

- Everyone else

Sklar brothers

No snark or one-liners from me. This is awesome.

People really conveniently forget that Fuhrman pleaded the fifth when asked about planting evidence. OJ did it, but the prosecution and LAPD looked really awful.

I would fire Sargent with a trebuchet.

I bet it’s them buying nice, midrange clothes for their families and friends. You don’t want to seem cheap buying clothes at any of the marts, but you also don’t want to shell out cash for your kids at Neiman Marcus. Express is a way to say I’m wealthy but I’m not buying my kids everything.

Costco jeans bitches. Ykk zipper, double stitched, and under $20.

Tom Ley is the Leah Finnegan of Deadspin. Everything he touches is shit.