Oh, he was such a charming man. He once convinced a landlord of mine who hated dogs and didn't allow them to allow my 100 pound dog by giving her a smile and a wink. (I was young then and just starting out) I made sure that there was not one dog hair left in that place when I left.

Yea I can totally attest to this - its almost as if fascist ideals are the direct product of an underdeveloped brain

Well yeah this student frankly sounds like a prick, but that should result in a suspension not a beating

It appears that everyone is in the wrong, here, but the onus always rests upon the adult security professional to be in control of him/herself in a situation like this.

You're such a man. You scoot your ass in the bathtub until your clit is situated underneath the faucet and then turn the water on, until you have an orgasm. That's what you do when you don't have a handheld shower head.

Tip: keep your thumb on top of the eraser of the pencil so the pencil won't slip out of your hand. Also, strike with your elbow anywhere on the face, or claw his eyes with your fingers. Then run the hell away toward safety/public places ASAP. Stay safe, ladies.

Oh, and I love Sylvia Plath. The Bell Jar has made me feel less alone in my depression.

People usually laugh at me when I make them squint at my feet where, after a whole summer, you can kinda very faintly see where my sandals end. I always forget to put sunscreen on my feet.

This story is (not) about me, so third-person will be used to protect the idiots.

I mean, do people really need to be told that despite being legal marijuana will still be a drug? And that you shouldn't take too much like an asshole?

OH MY GOD EVERYONE WEAR MORE SUNBLOCK

Am I the only one who actually thinks these look really awesome? Except 4th down. That looks awful.

As a ginger I don't know what confuses me more, the idea that someone wouldn't wear sunscreen, or the idea that people tan so evenly! PSA: Always put on sunscreen before you put the suit on!

This may be the one time I'm glad my body is incapable of tanning.

After reading your comment, I googled Third Eye Blind to remember why they were popular and was greeted with the headline, Why does Smash Mouth hate Third Eye Blind? and now I want to encourage more hilarious feuds between mediocre 90's bands.

No one ever said all Canadian are progressive. Small towns in Canada are similar to small towns in the US. For the most part Canada is progressive but small towns are harder to infiltrate and change. I come from a fucking small-ass town (legit 200 people live there, no joke and they're all white) and you will either…

Because they "worship" and pray to Mary and other saints instead of (really, in addition) to Jesus.

That's the pro-life Catholic Church for you- every fetus is a precious angel until it's bon.

Wait what? A group of teenagers discovered the mass grave in 1995? How are the police now just finding out about it 20 years later?