It’s mariJUANa, not marijuanA

What? He’s obviously a hufflepuff.

Whatever he was selling, it can’t have been as good as whatever the guys who wrote The Cursed Child were on.

I said STEP for a reason.

Remember a couple of years ago when Fox news ran incessant stories for days criticizing Obama for not giving a full salute to the Marines one time when he was leaving Air Force One? Gee, I wonder how much they will cover Cheetolini not putting his hand on his heart.

Spicer was undoubtedly offered the choice of read to the kids or The Bunny Suit Again.

Sigh, I admire their willpower, but they should have let it fall apart. The only reason that bloated orange gibbon is still squatting in the Oval Office is the entire WH staff is missing-stair around him at all times.

I really can’t anymore. I just can’t.

So, I get that it’s not unusual for visiting heads of state to ride in the carriage, but is it unusual for them to insist on it? Also, you know, if Donald decides that it’s worth the risk, who am I to tell him otherwise?

He thinks that now he’s prez, they’re pledging allegiance to HIM.

If a book came out just like this replacing republican with democrat, I guarantee you it would not be a best seller, which I think says something.

Don’t you get it? These MAGA chuds buying a blank book with their own money is like a total own of the libs. I personally had to retreat into my own gay space luxury communism safe space I got owned so hard.

Melania is the embodiment of “long suffering wife compensating for her husband’s increasing dementia”. She looks exactly like my Grandma nudging my Grandpa when he’d fall asleep in public or say something embarrassing.

He later kissed a baby, signed it, then threw it into the crowd, mistaking the gasps of shock as applause.

Wow, I wonder how many unpaid interns toiled under pain of death so “Melania” could “pull this off?”

“When someone shows you who they are, believe them.” —Maya Angelou

Couldn’t any gangbanger make the same claim? “The murderous, terrifying persona I use on the streets is all an act, it couldn’t be further from my true nature or my personality. I am a loving teddybear on my own time, but my day job representing MS-13 is performance art, and ‘Trigger Mike’ is just a character I play.”

I used to buy into the idea that Howard Stern was “just a character,” and believed all that Private Parts bullshit about what a good family man he was, how much he loved his wife. And then he left her for a younger, hotter model.

‘I am also on the Genghis Khan diet, which is recommended for young lotharios and involves eating sweet potato, sunflower seeds and horny goat weed.”

Viscount? Pfft! Always aim for a Duke or at the very least a Marquess. Most of the better royal privileges without the duty work.