Who let him in to the country? (spoiler alert: Truman) Who allowed him to be naturalized? (spoiler alert: Eisenhower) Who to blame?

What, is Trump now wanting to get rid of his base?

“Four year plan” refers to someone enlisting for one contract, which is usually four years. Officers are under a different plan. Apologies to those who may think I was referring to a payment plan.

What, Chuck E. Cheese too high end? Or McD with PlayPlaces no longer a thing?

A steamer (or steaming it) brings that stuff back.

Additionally, if one is current or prior military, check and see if there’s a military discount. (The four year plan pays off a little bit.)

Somehow, The Eagles: Their Greatest Hits 1971-1975—a literal compilation of “Hotel California,” “Take it Easy,” and some other baby boomer easy-listening shit—has beaten Michael Jackson’s Thriller to become the best-selling album of all time. You have every right to be outraged

Should have blamed it on Satan. No other proof needed that Uganda needs missionaries.

The Mets are hiring, right?

“...and Rowdy Rudy Giuliani, backed up into the corner buckle, is taking hit after hit and not able to defend himself! However, his opponent Chuck Todd hasn’t thrown a punch yet! Oh, the humanity...!”

Will it be called Large and Lumpy?

Obligatory for those who didn’t do well in history classes.

I bet Herr Trump didn’t know she was black. Either that, or one of his ghost writers/interns Tweeted it out.

Good thing you had the internet to research pickpocketing in Paris. Researching crime while traveling was a smart thing to do.

I don’t want to say it’s time for a military coup, because that would be illegal. An ouster, perhaps, but not a coup.

You can’t go wrong with Kikkoman. It’s a well known brand, and is one of the standards in so many kitchens and restaurants, it’s the go to old reliable. Hopefully, you bought it in a size that one can reasonably use in a given time period.

A last minute plea: for all that’s holy, do not buy La Choy. If there’s an Asian grocer nearaby, take the time to check it out. La Choy if you must, but even WalMart and Target *should* have soy sauce, Kikkoman at least. Amazon it if, in the rare occasion that WM or Target doesn’t stock it.

It doesn’t go bad. I have a container in my fridge for the last couple of years, and, through evaporation (I had to poke a hole in the plastic bottle it came in some time back), actually reduced a bit. In all honesty, I should toss it, but it’s still good albeit thicker than usual. Just like balsamic vinegar, I…

“Relax, and don’t tense up. It’ll hurt more if you tense up...”

I don’t know if “Pickle” is a real person or not, but the misspellings are what I expect from a Trump supporter of any age.