It’s a refreshing change, as usually it ends with an ‘L’.

I used to use a Victoria’s Secret box for my wife’s gifts every year, specifically the gift she’d open up at my parents house.

Referring to Sam Bradford as a pile of discarded sandwich crusts is extremely disrespectful...to sandwich crusts.

...where the golf clubs are supposed to go on my mid-engine sports car...

Nah, I’ll wait till they show up at my local Dollar Store.

Its the Lexus of mini vans

This is silly. You don’t even mention the new Star Wars villain.

Never Forget

How Sean Casey remembers his MLB arbitration hearing:

I was hoping I could pick him up for a song.

CRACK PIPE! Not even a crack pipe. Like a shitty pipe made out of asbestos that poisons you with cancer.

In the Kinja commenting system, stars are given out by two separate and wildly unequal groups: approved commenters, who can be easily read, and the greys, who lurk outside the gates. These are their comments.

Todd Bowles:

Hawaii is a Pepsi state.

I got rear ended by a woman who was on her phone. She got out, didn’t want to call the cops... or give me her info... or anything. Just wanted to leave. She hit me hard enough that he radiator was cracked and leaking fluid and my bumper was hanging on by only a single clip. No airbags luckily.

I call the cops, they…

As a liberal, I don’t feel like I’m being owned enough. I suggest they keep literally playing with fire on their property, just to show just how strong-willed and patriotic they are.

Another Stop & Shop fan! By far the most underrated Seltzer out there.