I don’t think you actually read Deadspin.

uh

Eagles trades show former coach not still running the team

You can’t use your hands, you idiot.

Always some sort of drama happening with those Gilmour girls

A deeply mediocre team quarterbacked by Nick Foles isn’t exactly a big draw for the citizens of Los Angeles

The wrong 2006 Georgia Tech Yellowjacket is retiring.

It’s true, they did indeed take over WCW in the 90s. I SEEN IT

Attempts to recall a similar instance where a slightly-premature celebration was penalized are escaping us.

If you still think Pittsburgh is a complete economic shit hole, you haven’t been to Pittsburgh in a long while.

Speaking of air raids, did you know that the Air Raid offense was a big reason Oklahoma won the BCS National Championship in 2000? Watch tonight, on ESPN, as they march toward their first BCS National Championship since then.

After watching this GIF, it’s easy to conclude that Rich Old Guy Performatively Dressed In Casual Wear is your typical square who went and crapped all over what could have been a cool moment with his supreme awkwardness.

The Elf on the Shelf remains the worst thing about Christmas.

As a Penn State alum, I can assure you that Hackenberg would be an awful QB for any team that drafts him.

When We First Met You Were Just a Kid, an autobiography, by Mark Sanchez.

Romo had a better game than Cam. Cam didn’t throw any TDs for the Panthers, but Romo threw 2.

If you look closely, you can see the Dallas quarterback in it’s natural habitat: On it’s back, wailing in pain, hoping it’s team won't suck without them(they will).

Tough break for the Cowboys. They were so competitive in this game before the injury.

This kind of sensationalist nonsense isn’t why I come to Deadspin.

How to become a Philly folk hero: