"Those corneal drops you sold me gave me a sty."

"Those corneal drops you sold me gave me a sty."

"So you want to return the silk purse, why?"
"Sorry, you'll have to speak up."

"So you want to return the silk purse, why?"
"Sorry, you'll have to speak up."

"Either I get satisfaction, or I'm gonna suey."

"Either I get satisfaction, or I'm gonna suey."

"You may think your humor is erudite enough to be in The New Yorker…but I think you're just a ham."

"You may think your humor is erudite enough to be in The New Yorker…but I think you're just a ham."

"Let's just say that what you sold me was in pork 'ondition, and leave it at that."

"Let's just say that what you sold me was in pork 'ondition, and leave it at that."

"No, that's not my tail.  I'm taking a shit."
"Me too."

"No, that's not my tail.  I'm taking a shit."
"Me too."

Actually, film historians have never yet found a copy of Hitch's missing silent film, "The Mountain Eagle."  Maybe it'll turn up in someone's attic someday…and it won't, as Alfy insisted, suck.

Actually, film historians have never yet found a copy of Hitch's missing silent film, "The Mountain Eagle."  Maybe it'll turn up in someone's attic someday…and it won't, as Alfy insisted, suck.

"Oink ME?!  Oink YOU!!"

"Oink ME?!  Oink YOU!!"

"I still don't understand why the lady coming down the escalator gets to speak with you before ME…"

"I still don't understand why the lady coming down the escalator gets to speak with you before ME…"

"I don't care what ANYONE says; I sound NOTHING like Ned Beatty."

"I don't care what ANYONE says; I sound NOTHING like Ned Beatty."