I always get mistaken for that other guy. That’s why I stopped walking on water just to amuse the kids at the public pool.

I’m doing park coke?

Well done,  worth waiting five years!

Three mass shootings and the GOP’s singular response is to feign outrage over a studio movie satire they have not even seen.

Kind of like a killer clown with an ice cream truck to attract the kids.

SORRY! I GOT HERE LATE!

This kind of reminded me of THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME from 1932 by the guys who did King Kong, in fact using the same jungle sets.

“One mean pussy”

I wanna be the first to fall and choke on a hot dog.

Is Cage launching some new cologne?  I mean he has all those typical laminated Italian models behind him who look like that haven’t had a comfortable shit since their last stalk of celery.

His Oscar clip will be when he removes his glasses, glances at the clock to announce the President “has died at 1:00 Central Standard Time, 2:00 Eastern Standard Time” and then pauses momentarily  to hold back tears.

Tracy: Dear Lord Jesus, I really must insist that you help me win the election tomorrow because I deserve it and Paul Metzler doesn’t, as you well know. I realize that it was your divine hand that disqualified Tammy Metzler and now I’m asking that you go that one last mile and make sure to put me in office where I…

it’ll apparently be an “entirely new level of experience that forever changes theme park entertainment”—

Well who among us wouldn’t ?

People have been making replicas of me as a baby for centuries and then leave me out in the cold of winter.

I will still love her when she is no longer young and beautiful

Others totally disagree.

I hope they replace Trump’s star with Del Toro’s . I am tired of having to walk around the dog shit that mysteriously appears on his daily.

While this death deservedly gets all the fun buzz, I really thought when the crew were escaping as the water was rising up that large round vent shaft and that one “disposable” woman was trying to reach the gangway before getting chomped, it was the exact opposite of Harlin’s opening scene in CLIFFHANGER.

WILL SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHY IT’S 5 MINUTE CRAFTS WHEN IT TAKES THREE FUCKING DAYS!