Same. Plus, holy christ everyone on Scandal gives their monologues with the EXACT. SAME. DELIVERY. and it freaking KILLS me.

I think the extremely real looking baby hairs may be what’s creeping me out the most. Or the way the lips are just perfectly pursed. Shudder.

Bond is so played out. I vote we just start a new franchise in which they can all be spies together. Like Charlie’s Angels, but serious — and with dudes.

Lucy Arnaz Jr.

I spent two years in Catholic school as a heathen UU who was never even baptized. When this came to light, suffice to say my classmates, bless their hearts, were super concerned for me because I def wouldn’t be getting in to heaven, and wouldn’t even have the opportunity to have all my sins washed away at the end. And…

Lulz. The only good thing about Trump’s run is that he’s essentially neutralized Christie’s strategy. Christie is the candidate who’s been hurt most by Trump’s run because Christie was supposed to be That Guy in 2016; essentially his entire run was was based on being the “straight-talking” no-nonsense-taking candidate…

Thanks. I do have this sneaking feeling that as soon as this new guys inevitably licks my face, I’ll be singing a different tune.

You guys, I’m having a rough time. I’m going home this weekend, and my parents just surprised me with the announcement they up and got a new dog to “replace” Baxter (pictured above), may he rest in peace, who was THE BEST, most handsome dog who ever lived. He died in January of doggy leukemia, and did I mention he’s…

I grew up in a white, rural, economically depressed area where nearly everyone had a “side hustle,” especially since the only living-wage jobs to be had were outsourced in the 80’s. Sometimes it was obvious black/grey market stuff (weed, poaching, unlicensed services of all kinds), and sometimes it was run-of-the mill…

Because they all have daddy drama I don’t really care enough to think that hard about it? (And all rich/blond/wispy/boho chicks look the same to me...)

Isn’t she the starlet who’s Ryan O’Neil’s bio kid? Or is that some other blond chick?

Yeah, but there are also things you can’t do on trains—like shut the door to your private bedroom or use a toilet that someone hasn’t done heroin in.

WAIT. Are you saying there’s some weird alternate reality in which Rashida Jones and Kate Hudson could be THE SAME PERSON??????? Or at least, sisters from another mister?

Are we sure he didn’t just come back as Tom Hardy?

My parents just got a new dog and named it Grady. My immediate reaction: OMG WHY DID YOU NAME THAT SWEET, INNOCENT DOG AFTER A FRAT BOY!

OOOOOH! Are you taking requests? I submit for your consideration Maine Gov. Paul Le Page. (And it’s actually a two-fer because in order to talk about Le Page, you have to talk about Eliot Cutler, the man whose ego is wholly responsible for Le Rage’s tyranny over the good people of the otherwise amazing state of…

Exactly. If you choose to set foot in that stroke-inducing teeming cesspool of humanity, you deserved to be relentlessly hassled.

“Yeah, I read The Corrections. PASS.”

BUBBA FOR PROM KING 2016