I hope I can speak for all the adults in the room who still regress to 12 year-old humor with a good ole hearty “Johnny DERP!!!”

Zucchini calling... my favorite non-salad green vegetable.

Supposedly, Shakira’s birthday was yesterday.  

Strokes?! I thought Bernie had a heart attack-ack-ack-ack-ack?

I’m not sure if laser removal is effective for darker skin tones. If I understand correctly, the laser “looks” for contrasts of skin/hair and it isn’t as easy to discern on darker skin tones? 

This is a fairly routine expense for many D.C. politicians.

(Another example would be a senator flies to his/her home state for the weekend, then back up to Washington for work..)

My guess is that he had a seizure from withdrawals of something, maybe Xanax? My EX (stress on the ex, there) abused them then tried to cold turkey quit and ended up having seizures from doing that.

Flame Scarlet.  I just bought a pair of boots in this color. It’s not just a gorgeous red, but a great drag queen name too.

I still periodically check in on Cat Marnell.  Her blase’ self-awareness of her issues is ..... well, I don’t know.  I just check in to see if she’s still alive, I guess.

Even typing “rainbow balloon” gives me chills, but that story was terrifying and ready to be made into a screenplay.

I HAVE been Tan Mom...for Halloween 2012.

Unf. I feel Demi. I’ve been in that situation -where my ex started pressuring for a threesome. I am glad I didn’t go through with it, but that was definitely the ending of our relationship. As I knew the relationship was on the outs, and I wanted to ‘keep him’, I considered it, which would have been a betrayal to who…

OF COURSE an employee is going to feign kindness to their boss, even if he’s a creep, when her bottom line depended on the job!

Rose’s lawyer is every dude - “Well she smiled at me so she must have wanted me to fuck her.”

I’ve had to smile through a lot of pain of that kinda shit because my harrasser had power too. 

I feel like the only person in the world who liked Bjork’s swan dress.  She was having fun!  It was perfectly her!

A friend of mine works for Postmates and he told me if they don’t come out in the 5-minute window, then he gets to keep and eat the food. 

Aha, that explains that song!  “Billy don’t you lose my number” was inspired by Phil’s assistant, who misplaced the ex’s phone number, right?

A Drew Barrymore talk show > Kelly Clarkson talk show.  

Seems like Pharrell always wears a version of the short suit.  He should have stuck with the funky hats instead.

They totally missed the opportunity to name their other son Gunnar.

I feel sorry for the child too - especially if he is already embarrassed or ashamed of his parent at such a young age.

I have an 8 y/o boy (I’m his mom) and I asked him a few days ago if I embarrass him yet, and he said, “No.” Which leads me to think that kids don’t really get those feelings until their tween/teen…