Bush is the kid that’s in sports because his family was also in sports. He doesn’t want to do any of this but his family is kinda guilting him into it.

I figured him a Rotom guy

More like a Scobee-don’t amiright?

I’ll see myself out.

Poor Josh. He’ll feel a lot better after having some Scobee snacks.

“Stiffing him by taking the 20 percent off is exactly what he deserved.”

The first sign the company was in a tailspin should have been that the "Senior Communications Manager" was using Comic Sans as her e-mail font.

Gray-brown fall is not the worst season. It’s vastly superior to both Gray winter and Brown spring, as both of those seasons involve discovering what’s been rotting under snowbanks since White winter. Bird spines, human poop, rat arms, etc.

I sincerely love it when you guys publish articles that exist for the sole purpose of making people irrationally OUTRAGED.

It’s even worse when you’re a big VW/Audi fan and loved them a lot because of their “clean” TDI cars. Now what am I going to do? Chances of me owning a TDI are now slim, not because I care they pollute too much, but because they’ll probably never be sold again in the US. I now look like a tool and my diehard GM friend…

IDK, on the one hand I feel you, but on the other, I think in our culture, being “fat” is more about how people treat you than anything. I have been objectively fat (5’5”, 250+ pounds) at various points in my life, but even when I felt at my most alienated because of it, I had friends who pulled rank with me in a way…

You want a baby? I can get you a baby, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don’t wanna know about it, believe me. Hell, I can get you a baby by 3 o’clock this afternoon... with a birth certificate.

That bread monster is going to come for me in my nightmares.

Several things:

I knew I'd find someone smarter than Stephen Hawking on Gizmodo.

Take them to school, dipshit.

never fucking trust a 19 year old girl who still listens to fall out boy

No way the NCAA would ever allow a player to make that kind of money.

To anyone still whining about an all-female Ghostbusters, NO ONE GIVES A SHIT!!!!! The original Ghostbusters have not been wiped from the face of the Earth, you can still find them on DVD. Your childhood is still relatively intact. Take off your trilby and go back to reddit where you belong.