^^actual shitpost^^

It can, but it got bored and quit after the first chorus.

"No Chris Christies."

Exactly.

Heckle like a pro:

Chutzpah!

It's Jacobim.

[sheepishly raises hand]
All of my in-laws.

In the words of the late genius George Carlin, "Time to bomb some brown people!"

Me as well, starting with the Moving Pictures tour!

Iron Monkey is awesome. That is all.

It's one of those movies you space out to on an airplane or put on HBO in a hotel room for background.

I've replaced most all insults with the catch-all term "Rob Schneider". It works in practically all situations, and it's universally insulting. Try it, you'll thank me!

My Mom and stepdad proudly voted for Trump. They're also old, in poor health, and on Medicaid.

BASS FACE!

"Newphew" = recent nephew?

"Giant Chris Christie", brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Dept.

[drops monocle into caviar]

From @Chub Rub's comment, you'd think the phrase "came out of an American vagina" would be sufficient—but then you have to consider C-section babies.
Man, Constitution-writin's hard !

Nope. Big Springsteen fan here. and I'm nowhere near Republican.