We were about to create the next Axe!

By now, October 31 should be a day of martial law in Haddonfield. How many horny teenagers have to die before the sleepy, fictional Midwestern town bans trick-or-treating, outlaws William Shatner masks, and puts a small army on every leaf-covered street corner?

America has always been at war with The View and allies with Oceania.

I got a Presidential Emergency Alert for THIS???

Which raises the question: why does, the biggest asshole, not simply eat the other assholes?

I’d buy that for a dollar!

Haha you guys really sock it to this Spiro Agnew guy. Does he work here or something?

After Killing Pablo and now Loving Pablo, I’ll look forward to Marrying Pablo to complete the Fuck, Marry, Kill Trilogy.

Well if Reddit user PhobetorWorse says so then it must be true.

“I’m down at the pond feeding the FUCKS”

Where do you think you’re going? Nobody’s leaving this comments section OH NO NO!. Nobody’s walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family streaming debate. No, no. We’re all in this together! This is a full-blown, four-alarm emergency here. We’re gonna press on, and we’re gonna have the hap, hap, happiest comments…

Maybe they can hire Marilyn Manson to do a reboot of Salo next. And then sign up Gaspar Noe to do a reboot of Liquid Sky.

Somewhere there’s a conservative whose head is ready to explode trying to figure out if this is a gutless elite liberal techie copout to the commies or unbridled capitalism following the market and if you don’t like it, buy someone else’s phone.

“Dr. Dre! Great to meet you! We’re all big fans of your name and how many people recognize you!”

I’m holding out for YouTube Green, which will consist of Captain Planet episodes and daily airings of Frogs.

If you read reports about how prissy Chinese state media can get this sounds very familiar. I’ve heard people complain about Apple vigorously autocorrecting swear words in our text messages. No, we weren’t having a discussion about ducks. Apple appears to be designing their service to comply with the most autocratic…

YouTube Blue is still going, but it’s mainly naughty vaudeville acts and stag films.

or, like, people with children? people with familial bonds and healthy emotional relationships? People who don’t post stupid fucking comments on nerd blogs?

Why would they even bother signing up Dr Dre and Stephen King? We love all those things you've done and we're really excited to work with you, but...

Apple is going all-in on the underserved Utah market.