They should just change the rules about how old you have to be to get help from the National Health Service.

Too bad old Leo looks like a bloated sea pig.

Just sometimes?

What's weird is that Alec Baldwin isn't really relevant enough right now to warrant all this paparazzi attention. They follow him because he freaks out and they want to capture it on film. If he would just calm down and stop being such a douche they would leave him alone. There are a ton of much more pop culture…

*whom!!

(Yeah, I know, but I can't help it! Carry on with your fantastic point. ;)

She's not a police officer, she's a sort of semi-amateur private detective. So it is, if anything,compulsory to sleep with the witnesses.

Man, screw you guys. If you seriously can't handle an adult woman having sex with multiple partners you probably shouldn't be watching tv. Or reading books. Or really doing anything where you may be exposed to women with control of their own sex lives.

And I will try this new series, but my favorite 1920s lady…

Lack of professional photography doesn't seem to put a damper on other forms of porn. At least not according to the informal poll I just conducted in my browser history.

No slaw on the side? What is this, Aushwitz? If you made a fucking remoulade, you could use it as a slaw dressing and be classier than that bullshit they serve everywhere.

Oh, of course! I got to hear all about the wonderful things in store for their child.

I have made and eaten hundreds of both and can say with 100% certainty that they are both fish sandwiches. and when you are adding deep fried lemon slices and tartar sauce the whole healthy thing goes right out the window.

It is amazing that all these gay slurs just "accidentally" slip out of Alec Baldwin all the time. How many more times before people decide what his true colors are?

Once their Magical Dick is in my vagina, they tend to feel that should be sufficient.

So to click I have to insert two fingers a couple inches and make a "come hither" motion?

Um, not necessarily. I grew up the grandchild of some pretty racist people and my uncle is pretty fucking racist and my parents are not as racist but really haven't done as much soul searching on the issue as they should have. Anyway, all of us cousins generally agree that our racist grandfather and less racist but…

I love to see Oprah being interviewed. Perhaps it's because she sucks as an interviewer, but for some reason, she just seems to really come out of her bullshit when being interviewed. She usually actually sounds intelligent when giving an interview, and, because I've met her, it's always so pleasantly surprising!

God, mom, would you hurry up and die already? OPRAH'S WAITING.

Did you just penis-size shame me??!?!?

Do you really want to advertise to a predominantly female audience that your penis might be small enough to fit inside a half-inch depression in a plastic mouse? I mean, I'm just sayin'.