Jesus fucking Christ.

I'm hopeful that we're seeing the beginning of the end. The massive amount of resignations and imminent firings spells doom for them. I just can't help feeling like there's another shoe about to drop that we haven't even noticed. I'm scared, honestly.

Turn on the news last week, and the top story, EVERY DAY, was Trump Jr.'s meeting. Turn on the news right now, and I guarantee they're talking about Trump bullying Sessions or this transgender issue.

Frankly, I think somebody on Trump's team (likely Bannon) has realized that they can use Trump's flailing idiocy and unpredictable nature to their benefit. He's a walking target, and everywhere he goes and talks, people follow and scream until their eyes bleed because they're so fucking furious at how stupid he is. So…

I can't get rid of this sickening feeling that someone in the Trump administration (definitely not Trump himself) is trying extremely hard to keep the press off of the Russia story, and all this bullshit with Jeff Sessions and now this shitshow is an attempt to distract people with calculated outrage. I think it's…

My buddy and I had an idea to do a podcast with our other improv buddies, where we would get super tanked the night before, and each, WHILE DRUNK, would write out a sketch idea (or the whole thing, whatever), and then we would have to do the sketch the next morning while hungover. It's… okay.

*slurps coffee*
POW!
So, uhh, I'm sad…
*10 more minutes of that*
Okay, let's get to the interview.
*10 minutes of SquareSpace commercials*

Once again, Scott Aukerman's movie reviews are suspect.

That was also how I thought it would go down. Frankly, if it wasn't for the Guardians, this movie would be a giant sausage fest plus Black Widow.

Yes. YES. I love witnessing the birth of an inside joke.

PFT can never contain his laughter. Those pauses are magical.

NYUCK NYUCK COCK

They never consummated, so technically she's married to *gulp* Ramsey Bolton.

Sources hope that Kyle's legal grope is within scope, but she is reportedly unable to cope, at the end of her rope.

And yet I'm the bad guy for stealing back the Cinnamon Swirl recipe that they took from my family!

Yeah the reports about aspartame are wildly exaggerated. It's fine. You'll be okay.

I've actually gotten so used to the flavor of Coke Zero, that that is now what "Coke" tastes like to me, to the point that if I taste actual Coke Classic, its way too sweet for me and seems off.

NO! This news is actually causing me genuine despair. I love Coke Zero so goddamn much. This Zero Sugar shit better be exactly the same.

To be fair, Pepperidge Farms also remembers that.

Like I get what they're doing, but sometimes it just comes off like someone poking and prodding at an angry but very stupid person, and then when that stupid person freaks out, they go "Hey, I didn't do nothing! I'm just sitting here!"