That fucking whiff of a title still pisses me off. ITS RIGHT THERE.

You having a bad day or something?

Ugh. Fox. First they keep us from having a good Fantastic Four movie, and now this!

Did not hear about it, but that's awful. How is that not at the very least some kind of breach of copywrite?

That's why when people see me walk in the room in my pink Croc flip-flops… they run.

What about Moses Taylor as TV's Frank Wrench?

I try not to generalize, but if you have an American Flag themed Punisher skull sticker on the back of your pickup… I don't like you.

Hi! Gene Shalit here, folks!
This past weekend, I went to go see French filmmaker Luc Besson's new high-flying space opera, Valerian and the City of A Thousand Planets!
While the action and spectacle had my jaw on the floor, the plotting and characters had me heading to the door! I give this flick 500 out of 1,000…

If it's a legitimate casting, the studio has ways to kind of shut that down.

It's a Scarsdale situation.

KEEP BRITISH BRITISH, right?!

The victim is always a white male.

And while we're at it, why not Zoidberg?

I don't watch this show, so bear with me, but didn't the leather jacket man who became Nice Purple Man who became bowtie doofus then become this old fuck, who is also old because he's the last Whovian or something?

It's like if Jonas Salk spent the entirety of his research into the polio vaccine with a packed lip and beer can spit-cup nearby.

The looking glass is so far behind us at this point it's not even visible.

Pretty soon we're gonna clashing with KINJA, right guys?!

That's only because *modern reference* is like the *modern reference* of *historical reference* s!

I meticulously catalog all of Dennis Miller's performances.

Oh hi Five, I'm Dad!