"...a novelty badger-faced keychain-fob that recites snippets of Roger Goodell's autobiography when you shake it."

As a Sox fan, I laughed out loud.

But he didnt sign autographs!

He hit over .300, 20 HR, 100 RBI, 100 BB, and 100 runs for 7 consecutive seasons. Ted Williams did it 6 times. No one else did it more than 5.

Seriously...no wonder they werent getting paid.

Seriously. I hate the "tl;dr" nonsense, but this shit is three times as long as the Manti Teo story, arguably the best and most revelatory story in this site's history.

Not his real name, man. Its his twitter nom de plume.

He's my favorite follow on twitter. Prolific and consistently funny.

I was 99 percent sure you were being sarcastic, but that 1 percent of me still wanted to yell at you. Well played.

Ha. I mean, whats normal?

The excuses sound like normal wife excuses (trust me, been married for 7 years).

If he wouldnt have used the word "bitch", he'd be 100 percent in the right on this. She was gutless, she blamed social media (something that accounts for 90 percent of her popularity), and she isnt a journalist.

Or, hopefully, that he will be dead soon.

Bullshit. Bandwagon fan = bad fan.

I follow the White Sox. Watch games, read about them online, follow the kids in the (relatively shitty) farm system, etc. Even last year, when they were 63-99 and played, arguably, the ugliest baseball in team history.

A bandwagon fan is someone who doesnt even follow the team when they are bad, but once there is a hint of success "jumps on the wagon."

Where are you seeing 5 and 7 dollar tickets for the Sox?

The cheapest tickets for, lets say, a White Sox game (not even looking at the numbers for a team like the Yankees, Giants, etc) is an Upper Deck reserved on Half Price Monday against a bad team (not prime dates) for $12, not counting fees, which brings it to about $15.

No, he's saying that not wanting to drop $50 (or more) a person for a day at the park to watch a 72-90 team does not make you a bandwagon fan.

Its going to be a sad, sad day for baseball when Mr. Scully is no longer to call baseball.