Things I will always remember about Peanut:

Loved watching this guy play. Hope to see him back on the CHI sidelines as a DBs coach teaching those youngsters the Peanut Punch. #beardown

Type of boyfriend every girl want.

He’s got killer instincts and is elusive in the open field

Did she take too long to order?

So....spittoon, you say? Just curious... That is, A friend of mine is curious how you came to know about such an event? And if you knew, perhaps, where he might find out more?

I’m 38 and I give myself hand jobs nearly every day.

I have a string on my dog. It's very shaggy. The dog, not the string.

So long as I have a napkin to wipe the complacency off my tie, then I’ll order what you’re having!

Considering that his (drippy Halloween font) ALLEGED sexual assault took place in mile-high Colorado, best not to utilize the attitude/altitude linguistic similarity.

As opposed to Draymond Green, who, when asked about Cam Robinson by an opponent on the court, got testes.

Not if they make their free throws, it doesn’t. It’s a calculated risk, same as the intentional base-on-balls.

The only way you’re right is if the batter can refuse the intentional walk. Trading a free base to avoid a dangerous hitter is no different from trading a foul and free throws to avoid a gimme basket. In both cases, the offending team judges the “penalty” to be less damaging than not committing the offense.

Kinja Lives Matter, bruh - wait, no it doesn’t. Everyone hates KINJA.

“Still pleaded for fewer fifths than I have.” - Vin Baker

I was very disappointed when I checked the link and saw that when they said choose a size it was actually how many did you want. I was hoping to get a good chuckle out of seeing a sizing chart.

No, I’m looking at it relative to the million other wasteful things people do. Do any of these people eat Starburst? They’re individually wrapped, wasteful, and no one says a fucking word about that.

Didn’t Apocryphal Suplex open for Disturbed and Slipknot at The Naperville Rib-fest in ‘’09?

I don’t know about you, but I take comfort in that.

Don’t worry, pardner. Somewhere, out there, there’s a guy takin’ it easy for all of us. Keepin’ that dream alive. A hero. A dude.