Well, this is just silly because she isn’t going to die. That’s impossible. She can’t. It violates the laws of the universe.

I feel more guilty for snickering at this casual bombshell:

Just don’t ever play with cats. They have an uncanny knack for history and world origins (I blame the unfair advantage of having nine lives).

Do you and your dogs ever play Cash Cab because I beat my dogs at that game. They just sit there with that look on their faces like, rub my belly, suckers.

I know you’re joking, but this does sound like exactly what I’ve trained for, and I had a Felicity doll!

yessss, loving this.

this is what happens when you lose your mother at a young age and she isn’t there to raise you or your roof.

All the Brits who get pissed off at the Royal Family confuse me. Sure, the Monarchy is stupid, but all they are now are figureheads and tourist attractions. Guess what? A lot of people come to England not because of the well-known cuisine, but because they want to visit where the royalty lives. My Mom will buy…

Wouldn’t it be more comfortable for everyone involved to bring on the lap bag and check the infant?

Your director was the dumbest motherf**ker I’ve ever heard of. In no way should that decision ever have been placed on either of you. Ever.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a writer in possession of a blank headline must be in want of a dead celebrity.

You were not kidding.

The answer is not Trump. The answer is the Juice. In fact there is no question.

I met Dita recently! And I’m feeling my makeup today.

When I saw this my first thought was “finally a legit link I’ll actually click on”

Is this somehow purposefully picking up on the thousands of weird “You won’t believe what Mama June looks like now!” ads that I get in Twitter and Facebook? Because that is WEIRD and I do not know why the internet thinks I need that marketing.

I call my balcony “the lanai” just for this show.

not even real faux palm plants, they painted them on the fucking wall.

We also found some cans of film labeled “Greed,” “The Magnificent Ambersons” and “Convention City.” But maaaaaan, those candy wrappers!”