We’d mourn the passing of the dealer model like we did for smallpox.

From the looks of that picture, I'd say his most immediate problem is camel toe.

Aerobed statement: ビデ、シャワーません寝室のためのものです。

Translation: Douches are for showers not bedrooms.

“Also, per school policy, the dog has been expelled”

This is the perfect piece to read if you’re having trouble napping on a Friday afternoon! Well done!

As a member of my high school table tennis team, I feel confident in saying that none of these people are making faces.

“Just write whatever the fuck for your stupid blog site and attach my name to it. I’m too busy updating my ‘days since I got a kid killed’ sign in my office.” - Brian Kelly

Two less soccer players in football. Good.

The ball, guys. Not the bucket.

They were kickers not quarterbacks.

These guys were way too eager to hit the coffin corner

It sounds like Ekeng should’ve done some EKG-ing instead of playing.