‘You can have him’? Does your friend not live in the United States? She might not understand that his new role will be national and not just limited to D.C. or ‘the Yanks.’

Wait until you see the back and forth between him and Graham. It’s like some slow melting southern soap opera.

My Daddy’s from Alabama, and even I hate listening to this fool. I mean, he probably has the Confederate flag on his drawers and socks.

Yeah, Comey. I mean. Jesus. There are no words, and Comey’s damn lucky there is no God.

They have to bring up Hillary because it keeps them from thinking about Trump.

Don’t defend this guy by downplaying how awful he is.

But HER EMAILS!!!!

In fairness to Sessions, he’s a lying piece of human garbage. That’s it.

Is he implying the Trump pick has been lying his entire life??? FAKE NEWS FAKE NEWS... you’re all whiny bitchey snowflakes... blah blah blah.. ignore reality!!!

I can’t see Ben Affleck’s Live By Night costume...

Judging by the applause he got on Sunday, it looks like Hollywood is firmly Team Brad. She’s had no choice but to cave and seal the files.

Protecting the ability to earn shit tons of money, really. They both realize that they cannot divulge the real story because it will harm their ability to make money hand over fist. At least that is my hot take.

Also comes two days after the Golden Globes where Brad was all but given a standing ovation in a show of support. People in the know appear to be Team Brad.

The parents are committed to act as a united front to effectuate recovery and reunification.

On a (tangentially) related note: anyone catch how the camera zoomed in on Matt Damon when Tracee Ellis Ross mentioned women of color in her Golden Globes acceptance speech? Those awards show directors, they’re not dumb!

As a condition of the divorce, Brad must serve two years as a member of a NATO peacekeeping force.

It’s coming out in January AND it’s the first we’ve heard about it... that tells you it’s gonna suck.

Angelina has since self-appointed herself as Goodwill Ambassador to Damascus.

Bahahahahaha united front, sure. More like the united front of lawyers who drafted this statement. Both parties were probably both murderously mumbling “fine by me” at the time of its release.

“The parents are committed to act as a united front to effectuate recovery and reunification.”