I guess you two can’t play anymore, but that’s a really sad thing to plan for. Man. Great, now I am thinking about my kids.

You know, not every article on Deadspin needs to have snarky jokes in the comments. 

This is why baseball players are the best athletes on the planet. They never look stupid playing other sports whatsoever. But a large majority of basketball and football players can’t throw a ball or swing a bat without looking like an absolute rube.

Are you always this angry? Because this sounds angry.

This is a new rule? I feel like it’s been the rule in the majors for at least a few seasons, and it was the rule when I played in college over a decade ago.

I dunno. Asking catchers to... um... catch... doesn’t seem overly nitpicky.

Totally irrelevant to this situation, but why was that cop conducting personal business while on duty?

Seriously. Is that security guard mentally handicapped or something? Holy shit.

He was in full uniform!

Hell this is a pretty good deal even if you’re going to just use the X1S as a streaming/4k bluray device.

Hell this is a pretty good deal even if you’re going to just use the X1S as a streaming/4k bluray device.

Dude, the ad is literally on the lock screen only. It’s not intrusive in the least bit. It’s actually kind of dumb to pay 20 more to have it removed.

Dude, the ad is literally on the lock screen only. It’s not intrusive in the least bit. It’s actually kind of dumb…

Don’t buy anything. Stand up for workers’ rights and refuse to take part in the capitalistic orgy that sees workers unable to even take so much as a bathroom break to make order quotas.

Don’t buy anything. Stand up for workers’ rights and refuse to take part in the capitalistic orgy that sees…

It's because of the 4 player multiplayer. That's why we remember it fondly. Playing round after round at sleepovers with your friends. It was the first of it's kind. But yea, it sucks now. 

I'm assuming this is only funny to people in their teens and early 20s? 

I think Dowd strikes at why this is more of a failure than the other adaptations even - the magic of the original WAS the animation.

You shouldn’t go to a terrible movie just because you have a child and it’s a children’s movie.

For whom does Dowd review movies? It’s an honest question.

But, come back to reality. This film is going to break box office records with or without her, with or without critical love.

Sounds like a dumb joke kids will like, which is exactly who the audience is for this movie. Which I think you forgot when you wrote this “review” and gave it a D+.

For once Dowd isn’t alone — critics all over the place are tearing this remake apart. Alas, it’s not gonna stop this thing from making zillions of dollars.