I would guess ranch. I don't know why, I just do.

Mother. Of. God. I would have to kill myself after all that. I am covered in goose bumps.

If possible, please do not use his name. "The shooter" or "the killer" are factual but not adding notoriety to an evil, vicious assassin.

Yes!! I instantly thought about all the fingerprints and the gallons of Windex that would be needed.

Apparently, MJ had upwards of 30 huge storage facilities and all the stuff he got with Bashir never saw the light of day/Neverland.

Trumpian with a huge splatter of Scarface. 

I am from Newfoundland originally where hundreds of moose and caribou rule the forest and, quite often, the highways. It’s standard when you hear that someone had a car accident on the Trans Canada Highway to ask “Did he hit a moose?” They are docile most of the time but humungous and lacking in recognizing what cars…

Considering every neighbourhood laundromat is closed and will remain so for a while, I will be extending the lifespan of sheets to every two weeks. I shower before bed so I am able to do so without being gross. I don’t have a zillion sets of sheets or pillowcases so I am, by necessity, pragmatic.

Considering every neighbourhood laundromat is closed and will remain so for a while, I will be extending the…

My gorgeous feline is well-behaved during the day but, in the wee hours, he gallops from one end of the joint to the other, mrrrowing loudly, then repeating til I holler at him to fuck right off and lie down. My apartment is teeny and open concept so there are no doors to hem him in. He takes full advantage.

Enormous cranium. Lollipop head.

I tried 5 times to correct the typo in my last post with no luck. Just so you know I am, in fact, literate.

I worked for a charity which had Celine as a spokesperson. I had to ferry her around during a few signing events circa Titanic and she was SO orange, SO bony, SO big-headed, it was distracting. Her people literally surrounded her so I don’t know if she was nice or not but I cannot stomach that damn song, as a result.

Why, thanks! I was actually confused about why everyone was confused. I guess thousands of heads would have exploded if 3-6 Mafia showed up to rap about the travails of pimps, huh?

What’s the confusion about? They played a compilation of music in film, Eminem won an Oscar for a song in his film, he returned to perform said-song. There was definite context. If Celine Dion had suddenly showed up to sing that i sufferable number from Titanic, would we all be so “WTF”?

I feel awful for everyone who perished in that crash - except Kobe Bryant.

This from the country that has TWO Kansas City-s. And a Paris in TEXAS! 

You marvellous motherfucker. I wanted to go down that road but didn't know how to get there. Well done!

Lindsay Chops!

After all the encouragement from Jezzies, far and wide, I took my nephew away for the weekend. A hotel with a pool, adjacent to a diner and a few blocks from a movie theatre. We are having a lot of fun - eating ourselves sick, exploring the neighbourhood, enjoying the hotel, going to the movies and for swims. Tomorrow…

I am 38, not 14. The shitshow is 14.