Thank you!! You know, right now, I’d kill for Hoynes.

Can’t we ALL just unite to get a Democrat elected and fill Scalia’s seat?! I don’t care if it’s Bernie or Hillary—I just want to protect Roe v. Wade.

Cruciatus in crucem. Eas in crucem. You get Hoynes.

Where she says that Clinton is a Republican: Said Susan, “She’s completely a Republican. Everything that she stands for and doesn’t stand for is Republican.” Since Clinton supports the right to choose while the GOP is tripping themselves over who can anti-choice more, that’s pretty much bullshit. I get it: Susan’s…

Why? I’m in the South! Education is for chumps.

This is what progressive leadership looks like south of the Mason-Dixon line.

That’s an actual fraternity at Dartmouth!

I was so confused when I read the name of the street—like, this is a good neighborhood (unlike a lot of NOLA), how did this happen?

In honor of NOLA’s top six placement, I’m gonna spin through the drive-thru daiquiri place, join a second line parade to get to dinner at Toup’s, and bribe my local alderman. Laissez les bon temps rouler, bitches!

Excellent use of the sarcasm font!

Title IX Coordinator here: Part of the problem behind differing punishments for staff v. faculty is that the faculty have incredible powers with regards to self-governance. For example, at my school, the faculty senate was created in 18- or 19whateverhundred, and its bylaws give it the power to have final say in…

Truly. The Romanian judge gave it a 5.8, and you know that bitch is stingy.

I feel like I just watched some really impressive performance art, like a contortionist on a highwire.

Yes, because male athletes are known for their good behavior and great life choices.

Jet fuel can’t melt Dottie’s grip.

Well done. 1-100 (or 1-25 if you gotta go AFA).

I wish I could give you all the stars ever. I feel the same way.

Your story sounds like mine, though for me it started with finally getting to a big city and having the big wide world shoved suddenly in my face. It was like the city was my grad school, and the internet was the required reading: I got a degree in Realizing What the Hell Was Going On.

I agree with you. And thank you for sharing your story.