Dear Jezebel: New weekly feature Lindy has to watch 24 hours of one cable channel every week. I vote for the Hallmark Movie Channel next week.

Last fall, I stumbled in to an "artisanal" hot chocolate shop in Seattle. It was one of those terrible situations that starts with walking by a place and thinking "cool!" and ends with you pity-buying something because it turns out there is no one in the 25 square foot store except you and a proprietress who is…

The biggest problem with the over abundance of pumpkin spiced bullshit is the fact that at least 75% of it tastes like artificial crap that was created by a chemist who lost his tastebuds in a horrific lab accident involving a bunsen burner and s'mores. Or like seasonal candles. The other 25%, though, is pure heaven.

I love lolcats. Especially lolcats that understand the basics of reproductive freedom, the concept that personhood begins at birth, and personal autonomy.

I know!!! I've had this for years. I buy the Just A Drop brand, and it's super small so you can just throw it in your purse if you're going to a fancy place or someone's apartment for the first time.

she should try to master one that doesn't include "best dress-up day in my whacky aunt's closet". and by aunt, i mean big gay uncle.

Let me just say that the Dr. Pepper Lipsmacker was my most favorite of the LS variety...especially while I grew up with such strict Indian parents where I couldn't wear basic make up or shave like the rest of my friends in middle school (god it was the worst, and then ironically, years later—-when I did start…

Definitely musical crack - I finally downloaded it on Spotify.

Alright JC, Imma let you finish, but Korea's girl groups are just as obnoxiously amazing as Japans.

Do you have Azealia Banks' "212" on your workout playlist? I swear that song is both super catchy and super motivating. I also like Peaches "Fuck the Pain Away"...actually I'm just really into filthy pop when working out and also when not working out.

Man, I loved River Raid!

Restaurant-style burgers are way easier to make at home than McDonald's burgers. After all, it takes time to source crappy buns, patties and approach the forbidden isle of gross where they keep processed cheese. Add to that the time it takes to properly freeze and then thaw your creation to get the right…

Why anyone who uses the insult "goober" is in the greys is beyond me.

Fuck you, Ruffles. Don't bring that weak-ass shit around here. You go the fuck on home and stay there.

They'll only be hiring female pilots for the same reason, I assume.

If this were me as a teenager:

I had this same exact conversation with someone at work, who said he was 'conflicted' about how he should feel about her because her demeanor seemed so 'off.'

Is he seriously insinuating that they're NOT making money? Also, yeah, some games I don't care about going digital but the Nintendo games and old Japanese games I like getting physical. Also, why would I take this observation seriously from a man named Patrice?

Aaaaand the hilarious gifs continue! Microsoft has officially gone the deep end! Who at MS actually thought that people would buy this kind of product?