Alabama I think

I would feel bad for the gator.

He had to play today. He heard there is a chance of some rain toward the end of the week.  Some storm somewhere. 

maybe the fat fuck will have a heart attack.

Trump is a part-time president who fucks up full-time. 

For the billionth time: would you rather have Donald Trump try to do something? Let the motherfucker golf.

That’s about $109 million on golf so far and golfing on 228 days out of the 955 days that he’s been in office (about 24%).

Trump admin, making the next generation of terrorists. 

Its not one of those factory-style Muslim Bans we used to protest. Nowadays artisan CBP officers handcraft bespoke Muslim Bans tailored individually to fit each and every Islamic Visa holder.

Lies! He has often been told “Sir, you can’t be back here.”

Welcome to our cool fun country where the president randomly picks fights with celebrities because he’s bored about talking about mass shootings and hurricanes and we all have to report on it and talk about it because he’s the fucking president of the United States.

They’re not just being polite. That “sir” is an expression of complete, lifelong subservience and obedience. It’s basically a feudal vow of eternal fealty.

Really? I could have sworn we were at war with Jenna Elfman just last...

We have always been at war with Debra Messing.

Being specifically mentioned on Trump’s enemies list should warrant some sort of honor come awards season.

“Doing great!” is the fatherly equivalent of writing “have a great summer!” in the yearbook of someone you have nothing personal to say about whatsoever.

Trump: "That's totally false. Also, Tiffany who?'

Westerhout, whom Trump had reportedly taken to calling “my beautiful beauty,”

Westerhout, whom Trump had reportedly taken to calling “my beautiful beauty,” had been with the administration since the president first took office