Well, there’s that, and the fact that you had more than a little bit of Russian meddling and electoral fuckery going on behind the scenes that only came to light months after the referendum.

Why is it whenever a Republican does the “thumbs up” gesture they look like an alien trying to pretend they’re human?

Maybe I'm greedy, but if someone offered me $200k to rat out the richest man in the world, I'd certainly go to that bald bastard and be like, "what you got on this?" 

I just drew up a very fun Dynasty-esque scenario with Melania in a very 80s beaded gown holding a flute of champagne lounging at the entrance of the East Wing, blocking Ivanka’s way (in Krystal Carrington cosplay).

I don’t buy into this Conway horseshit one bit. George and Skeletor are simply trying to lay the groundwork for their own Carville/Matalin show/pundit tour post Trump presidency.

Imagine how stupid you have to be for Melania to pwn  you

Some mornings I wake up to pure Twitter gold.

Great. Fuck ‘em both. In my dreams, this ends like Death Becomes Her with the two of them continually disfiguring each other and then spackling themselves back together.

Trump, a man who reportedly bends over backwards to appease his daughter and son-in-law

I still question why an adult woman would share intimate photos and texts of her romantic partner with her brother. Is this the norm today? Or did the brother go snooping in her phone specifically looking for stuff to sell? Either way, these are not people I’d care to know.

Damnit!

Don’t worry, it’ll get thrown out on the first day in court because that is clearly a leper.

This can only get better if:

I’m being sued for false advertising because my avatar is that of a cheeter, not an actual leper.

When I’m president, you’re gonna be my AG.

he has “endured an orchestrated defamation campaign of stunning breadth and scope, one that no human being should ever have to bear and suffer in their whole life.”

May I suggest the Twitter handle Devin Nunes’ Chode, that way he has to let his junk be described for the public record to see if is accurate or satire.

Why is he suing Devin Nunes’ Cow? Is he saying he is the cow? Shouldn’t it be his cow suing instead? What about his cows rights? Devin Nunes is Bovinygnist!

I just got sued by Milton Berle.

Filed to: CORNCOBS