I don't understand people complaining about this. Images of starving children with their faces showing are used all the time to compel people to donate to programs. They choose to use them because actually seeing a starving child, who's skeletal structure is visible, is much more moving than reading about one.

Whale Rider?

I would like my latte now, please.

Oh dear. I'm guilty. It doesn't matter what David Beckham looks like, the first time I heard him talk it killed my ladyboner forever; conversely, I spent months lusting after this tall, blond, beautiful guy in college, only to fall instantly in lust with his sorta-ugly little friend (a young Christopher Walken?), the…

"No ring, no bring" doesn't exist to make single people and people in shorter-term relationships feel shity. It exists because weddings are fucking expensive, and when you can only invite 100 people to your wedding, and you and your fiance's families combined number 87, would you rather use up two of those remaining…

As a professor of criminal justice who studies police violence, this is neither uncommon nor will result in any punishment for the officer despite being both illegal and (I can guarantee) against department policy as well. There's some commenter lurking around here claiming that the officer was responsible for…

That's why you always film videos in landscape.

If I had the money for plastic surgery I'd look like a more symmetrical version of myself. Which, honestly is the best you can do with surgery until we get to "Face/Off" levels of medical wizardry. When that happens, the above pic will be me:

Well, I'm impressed. That's actually really good considering she looks nothing like her.

Well, Missy, Timbaland, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN IN ALL THIS WE NEED YOU

No stepping, at all.

Without any dope beats. None!

It has been a long time.

This story has never been unveiled and I'm three whiskeys deep while dinner is still-a-cookin' so I figured "hey why not put it on the internet?!" I know, I know, my genius is unmatched. So, anywho—-

That's just shifting the blame. No one has an obligation to like you, and if a woman isn't interested in you, it's not necessarily because she's shallow or "entitled to the studly men." I'm a fat, depressed man who writes openly about being fat and depressed and I do just fine. You're the one that sounds entitled.

I miss that show so much!

Bemoan the untimely demise of Apt 23 with me, y'all. A great loss, he was fantastic. I'm still mourning.

This is Christian Sharknado. With God as my witness this is Christian Sharknado.