esther this is clearly this is cicely strong impersonating a poorly-medicated victoria jackson

My favorite movie of all time.

Ask your doctor if Eltxoa is right for you. (Do not take Eltxoa if you are currently using Limax)

Let’s just consider the brilliance of the Mitsubishi Minica Lettuce and think of what other food based names could be used.

Well it sounds Welshishish to me!

Stupid is as stupid does.

How many students inherit land they can mortgage to pay tuition?

Dear God the theme song immediately started playing in my head...

I want to say it’s some underhanded way to be transphobic, but the reality is that conservatives are just dimwitted as fuck and can’t even speak English properly. 

My female friends hate it when they walk by a construction site and the workers there yell things like, “Hey, did you know that Adams passed the sedition Act of 1798 that prohibited the publication of false, scandalous, and malicious writing about the President and Congress, but deliberately omitted the Vice…

Instagrammers are not smart people.

that’s the America we’ve been fighting for all this time.

The Don Knotts watermark on the NC plate just knocked it out of the park.

yo there are way too many states.

I think that’s exactly Bernstein’s point - all of these people have said it privately and yet done nothing. Naming them is about shaming them.

Methinks the wildlife rehabilitation specialist doth protest too much.

I try to be a decent person first-and-foremost, but the other rule I live by is, don’t yell and argue with perfect strangers. I don’t know who does and doesn’t have a knife, gun, a black belt in jiu-jitsu, or cousins around the corner. You take your life into your own hands when you don’t take the L and walk away.

You can say he’s not a pet all you want, but seeing him hang out with a dog doesn’t strike me as being all that good from the perspective of prepping him for life as a non-pet.