I’m with you my friend. Even lying on the bathroom floor beside the toilet, regardless of whether it makes direct contact, icks me out.

It always bugs me when characters in movies hang all over the toilet when they’re sick. Who has the time to do a deep clean of the toilet before barfing? I can’t be the weird one here...

Yeah! Fuck colds! And the flu, fuck that. And fuck those allergies that make you sniffle all damn day and blow your nose all damn night. And phlegm, fuck all that green shit you cough up sometimes. And anything that keeps you from fucking: FUCK THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF THAT.

Jamie Lee Curtis: I really wanna be glad for you, but you have ensured that I can never again see you without thinking “poop yogurt.” That pretty much ruins the whole thing.

We had a family movie afternoon recently where wifey and I showed JujyJr “Ghostbusters” for his first time. He dug it. He seems to be excited about the remake where I will use as reinforcement for my “girls and boys can do their own things, and it’s cool, but sometimes they can do the same thing and it’s cool too”…

I wasn’t being snarky, just curious. I’ll glide right by the “just don’t want to google it” remark and persist with my questioning, as you do indeed seem to know quite a bit about this, and I am a person who, perhaps ill-advisedly, appreciates the occasional bit of human discourse.

Casper Smart Straight.

Mostly because I’m not sure that Dean is straight.

Wait. Hang on. Serious question.

PRINCE HARRY: Yeah, yeah, I’ll get it the fuckin’ tea.

• Brandi Glanville and Dean Sheremet might be fucking opportunists.

Fine, but only because you need convincing.

His obliques are so grotesquely hyper-developed it looks like he’s preggers.

Bullshit. Nobody is giving this up.

That is SOME pig. Terrific. Radiant, even. Is (s)he humble though?

i will say this, i own my shit. and i’ve mellowed quite a bit (I’m 32). like, i may be a loon but i am a loon who KNOWS i am loon. that can be important!

I know, that’s always the way she felt too. And I used to do the same thing when I met someone new. But hell, we’ve all got issues. Frankly I’m enjoying being the least neurotic person in the relationship for a change of pace. It’s refreshing! Every time I do something weird and instinctively apologize for it I get…

in new relationships i always try to be like. the cool girl. for as long as i can. but the truth always comes out eventually and I’m like, welp hope he loves me enough by now that he’ll deal w/ it!

If Jezebel isn’t the place for blurting out uncomfortable truths to strangers on the internet, I don’t want to live on this planet any more.

Yup, I had to set a “divorce by” date. “I love you, I take care of you; I do this trusting that you are doing the same for me. But it’s been 2 years and you are not taking care of me, you are not willing to go to counseling. I have been unhappy for 2 years of my life. This isn’t partnership, you have till the end of…