yeehawteapot
yeehawteapot
yeehawteapot

So much this! I am SHOCKED that I, apparently, was only 11 when this song came out. I remember all the feels!

First thing I thought upon seeing that pic... ‘that is NOT Jennifer Lopez’. She looks so. So. Average. Like, that’s not her smile or anything.

Teach me your ways. I am SO jealous.

No, you're dead on.

Nooooo, just inhale that new baby scent as long as she isn’t wailing, and when she does, be grateful that you can give her back. Repeat this phrase in your mind ‘not my behbeh, not my problem’.

I do, too. They really do seem like genuine, loving people who are teaching their kids to not be caught up in all the bullshit.

Yup. I use them as stocking stuffers. ‘Here kids, you MIGHT have a fortune sticking out the top of this giant sock on the wall!!’

They damn sure should.

I left my abusive (but fanfuckingtastic in bed) ex 3yrs ago, and I still have sex dreams about him. Not super regularly, but regular enough to bother me. Sometimes he’s trying to get me back, sometimes he’s murdering my dog, but we are absolutely fucking at some point in each dream. Def not a good feeling.

They did the same thing for me, but I was only having Braxton-Hicks contractions. Made me take the Ambien before I could leave the hospital, then sent husband and I on our merry way. We stop at the grocery store cause I want eggs before I sleep. I was 17, hugely pregnant, and stumbling around the store like I was

I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE A DICK FOR DAY. For serious. I wanna know what a man’s orgasm feels like.

He must have some fantastic stories!

Pretty sure spoonfucking under a blanket cause family is in the same room is how I got knocked up as a teen. Ooops.

Um. 24hrs and no family allowed? What kind of work was your dad in?

Thank you!

Mmmmmm. I would like to lick all. of. that.

Aaaarrgg, I don’t know if I’m getting kinda’d and this is gonna show up 3 times or what, but...Can I get some clarification on that cookbook, please? The butter bakery one? I googled, but am not coming up with that name. I def wanna make sure I get the right one.

Can I also get some clarification on that cookbook, please? I googled, but am not coming up with that name. I def wanna make sure I get the right one.

Also, I need clarification on that cookbook, please. I googled, but am not coming up with that exact name, and def want to make sure I get the correct one.

Holy hell, that sounds faaaaabulous! Fuck Khloe, come teach me! Bring one ready to eat, though, please and thanks. I’ll provide the booze.