I think it comes from a good place, and a smart place. Just not necessarily a very wide view place and I was cranky. You said it very concisely, it excludes the most vulnerable.

I agree it’s necessary to give survivors relationship skill sets. Vehemently agree. It’s necessary to give people in general relationship skill sets, and I wish it was taught in phys ed to grade schoolers. We just disagree on the timing, method and audience. It’s appropriate before or after an abusive relationship,…

“He realized he was the problem, and he changed. The number one thing that most abusers don’t do is realize they’re the problem”

Mmhmm. And you took all that on face value without questioning it.

I can see how you would think that, but damn. First, I only made two comments to the OP. One snarky one stating that his thoughts on it being easier to hit someone than not were messed up, and the second asking if he felt remorse because it was truly concerning to me that it wasn’t mentioned. That is my first and…

I think for me, the issue is time and place, and in the OPs part, since clarified, a significant concern that the behaviour hasn’t changed.

You probably had the right impression the first time. I am argumentative, stubborn and often a giant pain in the ass.

When you pose a response to a DV question as, both of you need to change, it implies the fault is both persons. When you spend the majority of a paragraph describing what the victim did wrong, it comes across like you are supporting the abuser.

This is even sillier than the raw milk trend, which while unsanitary for the most part does have a tiny grain of truth in that milk proteins will be changed by the pasteurization process. Honey is only pasteurized when the water concentration is too high, as it is naturally anti microbial and anti fungal. its one of…

I like the way her voice sounds. I tend to like rap when it hits weird vocal percussive notes. I do not have the words to adequately describe it though. Coco, Panda, Busta Rhymes anything, Lil Uzi Vert, its got to do something interesting.

blood both as a comment on color, and as a comment on how she got there. she spilled blood to get those blood red shoes. it simultaneously brags on her wealth and her cut throat business acumen, and perhaps adds an extra dash of - is she or isn’t she a gang member?

I’m not, and you are misunderstanding my point.

You don’t owe me anything, so please don’t feel bad about that. I won’t say I’m glad to hear of your remorse, because I’m not happy to hear you are in pain, but it makes me less concerned for the safety of the people around you.

yes to this. it means less work for me, and same or better tip. regulars ftw.

Sometimes I try to branch out from my favorite, but I’ve already determine it matches my preferences best, and am disappointed in my new choice more often than I’d like to admit.

Overly critical mothers that set us up for a lifetime of self doubt and an unreasonable desire to please?

She has work to do for sure, but laying it out as they both have work to do both minimizes the abuse, a criminal activity, and places blame back on her. You are still trying to find reasons for why she is equally or somewhat at fault when it was her partner who hit her. You are placing equal blame on the victim for…

I don’t wonder that, because I work in DV and DA outreach. I know most don’t seek help because most don’t see a problem with what they’ve done and do not want to change or admit fault. Abusers often do share their experiences, for the exact thing you are providing this one with- sympathy and support. And abusers are…

dude, an an ex abuser, your opinion on these things is something I would hesitate to share.

I’m happy you’ve shared your thought process from an academic standpoint, that was very brave of you, and I appreciate your response to my comment and the others here. I am just having a very hard time with your seeming lack of empathy for your victim and your reasons for changing.