I don’t understand why they just didn’t scream “NO FAIR!”, grab the bats and balls, and storm off the sandlot to go home and play Xbox.

Terrifying arsenal? Seriously? You lose credibility with statements like this. He had what looks like two pistols, a rifle, and about 100 rounds of ammunition. Can we please stop with the ridiculous hyperbole?

He had some straight MAGIC he pulled off last night. Wow. BUT, as I watched with wifey, each of those amazing plays just drilled home my conclussion that they werent going to win, namely because he worked so hard and the damn Warriors would score with relative ease. Even though it was “back & forth” for a while, I…

the sound the grape lady makes after she falls is forever burned into my brain.

Personally, (and I guess this needs to be said) I supported Kaepernick’s decision to not stand as a form of protest. It was subtle, poignant, and about as far away from “attention seeking” as one can get. Honestly, the only reason it got so much media coverage was because people who disagreed with him wouldn’t shut up…

Cleveland’s strategy of “Let KD dunk all over us” may have been ill advised.

A more interesting question is, regardless of outcome, how many Finals in a row do you think will be Warriors-Cavs?

I love a good baseball beef. In hockey, a beef results in two dudes kicking the shit out of each other. In basketball, it’s done through passive aggressive sniping in postgame interviews.

and turned the entire second half into a soggy exhibition.

god damn it! Does this mean I have to get rid of this?

To be fair, those stigmata wounds in his hands open easily.

“What does the future hold for Deadspin’s AL East coverage? Let’s just say we’ve got a few ideas up our sleeve.”

All three of these guys could have been the villain in an 80's skiing movie. 

*second and third quarters happen*

Welp, it’s a good thing the Wizards got out to such an insurmountable lead! It would be a shame if that lead disappeared early in the second quarter...

I remember an era when men were men and short were shorts. None of this down past their knees crap these candyass kids wear today. On a hot day it wasn’t uncommon to see the bottom of your ball sac peeking out. Did we complain? Hell no! Even if it meant that diving for a loose ball often resulted in tearing your…

In all sincerity, the best gift I’ve ever received was a drawing my son made of the two of us playing video games together. We had never actually done that. It was an aspirational drawing. I bought him the Lego Marvel Superheroes game like two days later.

It’s funny how #5 probably sounds like a total shitty cop-out gift to someone without kids.

There’s a three-word phrase that rhymes with Pilitary-Thindustrial Fomplex (only trying to be half snarky).