He will probably play more with new England than he did all season with Pitt. And he is probably going to get a ring if Pitt somehow wins the super bowl.

If he gets a ring with the Pats, will he return it since it’ll basically be like a participation trophy?

Here I was thinking they could offer ownership to Trump in exchange for him leaving the Presidency but I like this idea even better.

Richardson was apparently very disappointed to learn he had to sell the whole team rather than each player individually.

Old rich white guy is racist and sexist? I am shocked, shocked I say!

Over/Under on Drumpf finally getting scared enough of Mueller’s investigation to fire him: December 31

You know, that’s actually one of the most misunderstood bible passages. People think that it implies that rich people can’t get into heaven or have a hard time of it. But it’s the result of a mistranslation. “Eye of a Needle” was the common ancient Hebrew  term used by Rabbis to describe the NY Giants defense.

Funny how a little blackmale could sway ole Jerry

Again I say to you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.

[Troll mode]

Everything must be whirling for Darvish.

Yo, I’m pretty sure Lebron was flopping.

It’s a pretty important omission: They have an American on their roster. Jonathan Klinsmann. Yes, that Klinsmann. 

This why I stay in my bubble in downtown. I haven’t been to a Walmart in years. I fucking love the internet. I have a co-op I walk to and if I can’t get what I need from there, I amazon that shit.

The kid covering the “wantee”lady in conditioner/lotion(?) makes for one hell of an ending.

Furniture stores are amazing. I try to sit down on every single couch and rank them based on comfortability.

The worst store is always any store your wife drags you into. Target, Hobby Lobby, Sephora, Forever 21, doesn’t matter. She will take 17,000 goddamn years to look at every item 67 times and then leave with something she found the first 5 minutes you were there. And it’s always the case that you can’t go wander off on…

“People are thanking me. Many people are thanking me. That’s not just me saying that, many many people are thanking me. Fine people.”

I’d say that this is embarrassing for the United States, but frankly that ship has already sailed.

Thanks, Trump.