I’ve tried this for years and it doesn’t seem to be going so well.

I take the elevator if I have to fart because I am a bad person.

Never seen anything like C.Anthony? Remind you of Gerald Henderson/ Kris Humphries, who had a short but brilliant run in NBA?

Imagine that you and your friend are at one of those restaurants that has some crazy eating challenge. Like, a 12 pound pizza. Now, you and your friend have been training. You’ve been eating big food for months, years even. Your tactics are ready to go. You get to the pizza. You start eating it.

The Warriors are my favorite team, Albert Burneko is my favorite internet writer, and this is my favorite piece of internet writing.

a parade of self-important fuckfaces using their 30 seconds at the podium to holler out freshman-year political takes

Looking ahead to the summer, Kevin, do you have any plans?

Your juvenile chauvinism, however, makes you attractive to 0% of women, gay men and horny sheep.

Boogie is not ugly. And Boogie’s game is fucking beautiful. His grumpy oncourt look is the result of BRF: Bitchy Resting Face. BRF is involuntary; it happens when the neutral position of the face appears scowling or frowny. When Boogie smiles, he looks like a ginormous teddy bear.

Having Timmy on the ticket could shore up Popovich’s campaign with the big fundamentalist voting bloc.

Waffles are awesome and pancakes suck!

...and does not appear to be featured anywhere in this article. What, pray tell, brought on this non sequitur?

I know it’s an unpopular opinion, but I would like him to make another Fable after this (spiritual successor on PC).

tl;dr

Maybe I’m old school, but I absolutely detest video journalism. Nothing against your attempt, Mr. Klepek, but I believe it to be an evolution the needs to be un-Darwined. I enjoy Kotaku because it’s one of the few geek sites that still write way more often than they make a video. I would’ve loved to read the article,…

So a podcast is replacing the printed Funbag? When did Simmons take over as Deadspin editor?

Goddamn it. I can’t very well listen to a podcast while I’m pooping at work, now can I?

And neither of them did character progression/customization as well as GTA: San Andreas, in my opinion. I miss my fat CJ.

Technically it’s G-D-A-E on any violin